老友记剧本第一季01(中英文对照)(21页).doc

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1、-老友记剧本第一季01(中英文对照)101 试播没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！少来了，你和那个人一起出去！拜托，和你交往的男人一定有问题！打住，乔伊，嘴下留德。他驼背？既驼背又带假发？慢着，他吃粉笔吗？我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。各位别急，这不算约会。我们不过是出去吃晚餐，而且不做爱。听起来好像是说我的约会。记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，突然发现自己全身赤裸。我做过那样的梦。我低头一看，看见有一支电话在那儿。而不是？没错。我没做过那样的梦,没有。那支电话突然响起，而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。他们以前不看你吗？！终于，我认为我应该接，结果是我妈打来，我感到很奇怪，因为我妈不曾

2、打过电话给我！嗨。这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。你还好吧？我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙，抓起我的肠子，从我的口中取出，然后绑在我脖上饼干？卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了。- 我帮你泡杯咖啡，谢了。不要别清理我的灵气。可是别碰我的灵气就是了。好吧，保持晦气！我会没事的，真的，我祝她幸福。- 不，你不会的，没错，- 我不会的，去她的，她甩掉我！而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。没有！行了吧？！为何大家都围着这个话题打转？连她不知道，我怎会知道。有时真希望自己也是个女同志。我刚刚大声说出来了吗？昨晚我告诉我父母，他们好像还挺好。真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个电话，一个女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉，“我不能抱孙子了，我

3、不能抱孙子了。”那是什么？打错了？对不起。别闷闷不乐了，罗斯。你现在很痛苦。我一肚子火,心如刀割。能告诉你解决之道吗？脱衣舞酒店。你单身，有性需求。我不想单身的。我只想再结婚。我只想要一百万！- 瑞秋？！- 天啊，莫妮卡，谢天谢地！我到过你的住处，你不在。有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿，结果你真的在这儿。想来杯咖啡吗？无咖啡因的。各位，她叫瑞秋，另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人。这位叫钱德勒，菲比，乔伊。还记得我哥罗斯吗？当然。嗨。你想现在告诉我们，还是等伴娘来再说？婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。我在堆放礼物的房间里，看着船形卤肉盘，非常漂亮的船形卤肉盘，突然间有没有代糖？我了解船形卤肉盘此巴

4、瑞更能引起我的“性趣”，我自己都吓了一跳，巴瑞愈看愈像猪头先生。我一直都认为他很眼熟。总之,我必须离开。我开始想，我为何这么做？我为谁这样做？于是我不知该走往何处，我知道你我日渐疏远。但是你是我在这个城市，认识的唯一一个人。好像是唯一没受邀参加婚礼的人。这件事就甭提啦。我猜他送她一台管风琴，她肯定不喜欢，金枪鱼还是鸡蛋沙拉？快决定！我要拥有克莉丝汀拥有的一切。爸，我不能嫁给他对不起，我只是不爱他。对，是我的问题！如果我没了头发，还不如去死。她不该穿那条裤子。我建议推她下楼，推她下楼！推她下楼！推她下楼！爸，你听我说大家这样评价我这一辈子：你是一只鞋今天我倒想看看如果我不再是鞋会怎样。我说如果我

5、想当皮包呢？或是帽子呢？不，我不需你帮我买帽子。我说我是一顶帽子。爸，这是一种比喻。你看他也有些问题。爸，这是我的人生。或许我会和莫妮卡住在这儿。我想我们已确定好谁要和莫妮卡住在这儿。或许那是我的决定。或许我不希罕你的钱。等一下，等一下我说的是或许！深呼吸，就这样。试着想着美好的事物玫瑰上的雨滴，猫嘴上的胡须，门铃和雪橇之类的。啦 啦 啦还有手套我现在好多了。我的功劳。或许这样最好，要自立，决定自己的事情。有任何需要找乔伊准没错。我和钱德勒就住在对面，而且他经常不在家。乔伊,少趁虚而入了，今天是她大喜的日子。什么？有规定不能吗？别再这样，声音很刺耳。我是保罗。天啊，6:30了吗？让他进来！保罗

6、是谁？调酒的那个保罗？或许吧。等等,你今晚该不是真的要和调酒的那个保罗约会吧？他终于开口约你了？对。终于被你等到了。瑞秋，等等，我可以取消。不用了，你去吧，我不会有事的。罗斯，你没事吧。你要我留下来吗？那样最好真的吗？- 假的，去吧！是保罗，调酒师耶！什么意思？他是卖酒的，喝酒的，还是评酒的？请进！ 保罗，这位是各位，各位，他就是保罗。保罗调酒大师。抱歉，我没听清楚你名字。保罗，是吗？我马上就好，我去，去神魂恍惚啦？换衣服！请坐，两秒钟。我刚拔掉四根睫毛，不妙。嗨，保罗！ 嗯，有何指教？一个小秘密，莫妮卡其实就喜欢这样，你摩擦她脖子的同一个地方，反反复复，直到那里开始有点发红。乔伊你给我闭嘴！

7、瑞秋，你打算如何渡过今晚？我应该在前往阿鲁巴渡蜜月的途中，因此没了！我懂，你没去渡蜜月。虽然阿鲁巴在此时有很多大蜥蜴，如果你今晚不想独处，乔伊和钱德勒要到我那儿帮我组合新家俱，对，我们都相当兴奋。谢谢，但我今晚想待在这儿，我折磨了一天。好吧，当然。菲此，想帮忙吗？我可以去，但我不去。爱情似炎炎夏日中的阵雨般美妙，love is a wondrous work of art,but your love oh your love,your love.is like a giant pigeon.crapping on my heart.啦-啦-啦-啦-啦- 谢谢。我应该用蜗杆将托架装在侧面，但我没

8、看见托架和蜗杆，而且，我的脚好麻。我想我们做好书架了。真漂亮。这是什么？我只能说这是个“L”型托架。是哪儿的？我也不知道。书架做好了！终于做好了！这是卡罗最爱喝的啤酒。她总是不用杯子喝，我早应该看出蛛丝马迹。嗨如果你再这样，我们就走了。对啊，请不要破坏这里的乐趣。罗斯，我问你一个问题。她分得家俱，音响和好电视。你分得什么？你们。天啊。你昏头了吧。嗯，天啊！嗯，天啊。我知道，我是个大白痴。她每周看四五次牙医时我就该了解，我指牙齿能有多干净？我哥正承受着这种痛苦，一副失魂落魄的样子。你是怎么熬过来的？你可以不小心砸烂她贵着的东西，如她的她的 腿？这样也不赖！我我砸烂了她的表。你真的砸烂过她的表？哇

9、！我做过的最坏的事情是，我撕碎了男朋友最喜欢的浴巾。 嗯,机智脱身。 对啊。巴瑞，真是对不起。你一定认为此事与我那次说的话有关，关于你做爱时，穿着袜子，其实不是，问题出在我身上，我答录机又把我挂断了。不管怎样瞧瞧，瞧瞧，我知道某个女孩会不可思议的，成为凡可巴瑞太太，但那不是我，不是我。而我现在连我自己是谁都不知道，但你还应该给我一个机会向你我离婚啦！我才26岁就离婚啦！闭嘴！你还是停下来吧！我才花了一小时。看啊，罗斯，你应该理解，我们认识不是太久，但你和一个女人相爱已经四年了，四年的封闭和分享，最后她把你的心都麻醉了，这就是我们为什么不这样做！这还不是最重要的！你知道最可怕的是什么？万一每个人

10、一生只有一个女人怎么办？我的意思是如果你只有一个女人时该怎么办？不幸地我唯一的女人爱的是她你在说什么？一个女人。那就像在说你只能吃一种口味的冰淇淋，罗斯，告诉你吧，冰淇淋的口种有千百种。有各种点心糖果冰淇淋你可以加上小糖条或是核果，或是奶油，这是你一生中最美好的事。你八岁时就结婚了吧？欢迎来到世界！ 抓住勺子！我真的不知道自己是饥渴还是欲火焚身？那么就别碰我家的冰箱。自从她甩掉我之后我，什么？什么，你打算边嚼面条边讲？不，这就像是”第五次约会真情告白”有第五次约会？不需要吗？需要，我想需要的。你刚才想说什么？这个呃自从她离开后，我就一直无法没做过性方面的天啊,天啊,对不起,对不起。没关系你现在

11、需要的应该不是让人吐口水吧。多久了？ 两年了。哇！真高兴你砸烂了她的表！你还想要第五次约会？当然想。我们今天来这里参加乔安妮路易丝坎宁安和查尔斯恰棋-恰棋-恰棋阿可勒的神圣婚礼。喔看乔安妮爱的是恰棋。差别就在这儿！抓住勺子。知道我等着“抓这把勺子”等了多久吗？你对”此尔，别逞英雄”这句话有感觉吗？非常对不起！但我要走了，我有个约会，和安德里亚安吉拉安德里亚嗨，安吉拉喜欢尖叫，安德里亚养猫。对。谢谢。六月份了。我走了。是这样的。就算我鼓起勇气约女人出去，但我要约谁呀？神奇吧？我这辈子从没泡过咖啡。真神奇。恭喜了。你看，我觉得只要我会泡咖啡，就没有什么不行。如果能侵入波兰，就能征服一切。如果你兴致

12、大发想做蛋饼，老实说我不太饿好啊，Lenny和Squigy来啦。早安。早安。早安。早安,保罗。 你好,保罗。 嗨,保罗,是吗？谢谢你！太谢谢你了！好了！不行，我要告诉你昨晚就像我所有的生日，毕业典礼，和谷仓收获季节加在一起一样。晚点打电话。好。谢谢。那还不叫约会？！那你真正的约会到底干些什么？闭嘴,把桌子抬回去。 好吧！孩子们，我要上班去了。如果我不输入那些数字也没什么关系你们大伙儿都有工作？对，我们都有工作。这样才有钱买东西。对，我是个演员。我见过你吗？大概没见过吧。我大部份都是在地区性的节目中演出。等等，除非你看过小木偶的重播。这也算是工作吧？瞧，盖佩多，我是个活生生的小男孩。我不会理睬这

13、种羞辱。你说得对,抱歉。我曾是个小木偶小木偶告诉你们，他死定了。嗨，钱德勒？今天感觉如何？睡得还好吧？和巴瑞通过电话吗？我无法停止笑。我看得出来。你这样子像是昨晚口中含着衣架睡觉。我知道，他是那么还记得你和东尼戴马克？记得。就像那样。那样感觉。你惹上麻烦了。大麻烦！需要婚纱吗？几乎没用过的。我想我们有点不知所以了。我要清醒，去工作。整天都不想他，或者只是清醒然后去工作。- 祝我幸运！为什么？我要去找工作。嗨，莫妮卡！法兰妮，欢迎回来！佛罗里达如何？你们上床了，对不？你怎么看出来的？哦，我恨你，我推着我的洛兹阿姨经过帕罗丛林，你却在做爱！和谁呀？认识保罗吗？保罗，那个调酒的？对，我认识保罗。你认

14、识保罗像我认识他一样？爱说笑，他还得谢我呢。遇到我之前他已有两年无法入道。显然他是骗你的！为什么？为什么会有人那样做？我想答案比”设法骗你上床”更复杂。我恨男人！我恨男人！不，别恨，你也不想把他们丢出宇宙吧。问题出在我身上？难道我有特殊气味。只有狗和感情有严着问题的男人才闻得到。过来，脚给我。我以为他是个好男人。我无法相信你不懂这是骗局。猜猜看？你找到工作了？开玩笑？ 我书都白念了！今天的十二个面试全泡汤了。不过你却异常兴奋。换成是你，你也会一样。如果你遇见John and David的皮靴打五折。你真是太了解我了。这是我的新皮靴，我不需要工作，不需要父母，因为我有新皮靴！你怎么付钱？信用卡啊

15、。卡费谁费？我爸。天啊，好啦，有必要吗？我是说，我可以随时忍住挥霍的。成熟点，你不能靠你爸一辈子。我知道，所以我选择结婚。饶了她吧，第一次独立并不轻松。谢谢。不客气。我记得我第一次来到纽约时的情况，当时我十四岁，我妈刚自杀，我继父再度入狱，我在这儿人生地不熟。最后我和患白化症的男人同居。他为港务局的人清洗车窗。后来他自杀了。然后我找到芳香按摩治疗的工作。所以请相信我你的心情我能体会。你需要的是，“无论如何”好的，准备好了吗？不。不，不，我没准备好！我怎么会准备好呢？嗨，瑞秋！你准备好不用降落伞跳出飞机吗？不行，我不行！你能行的, 我知道你能行！我不觉得.来吧，你会泡咖啡！你就什么都可以！来，剪

16、，剪，剪，剪你们知道吗？我认为我们可以把它们留在那里。只做个象征性的姿势就可以了。瑞秋！ 那是借书卡！剪，剪，剪，剪，剪，剪，剪知道吗，如果你们仔细听，你们会听到上千的商家在尖叫。欢迎来到现实的世界。糟透了，但你会喜欢的！好，就到这。你要睡在沙发上吗？不，我要回家。你没事吧？还好。嗨，看我在地板上发现什么？什么？那是保罗的手表。放回原地就好了。 好。晚安,各位。晚安。嗯对不起。- 不，不，不，走开-吃吧,我不饿。分开？行。你大概不知道我在高中时，肯定能迷死你。我知道。你知道？ 哦我总想你认为我不过是莫妮卡的书呆子哥哥。没错。你是否认为如果抛开其他不好的因素，我能偶尔约你出去吗？有时？有可能？好

17、，或许吧或许我会的晚安。晚安。回头见等等，你怎么了？我刚“抓住了勺子”！我真不敢相信我的耳朵。我真不敢相信我的耳朵。我说你有一个我说你有一个你有完没完？我的老毛病又犯了？没错！我是说你有一个不错的屁股，但不是个了不起的屁股。它又没跳起来咬过你，你怎么知道不是了不起。只是想象。谁要喝咖啡？你煮的还只是端过来而已？端来而已。好,好,给我来杯咖啡。孩子们，新梦我在拉斯维加斯。嗨，小姐？加点咖啡？嗯，劳驾，请递给那个人？去啊。谢谢。对不起。好，拉斯维加斯。我在拉斯维加斯我是丽莎明妮莉-第 21 页101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pil

18、ot-The Uncut Version)Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with!Joey: Come on, youre going out with the guy! Theres gotta be something wrong with him!Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump

19、 and a hairpiece?Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.Chandler: Sounds like a

20、date to me.Time LapseChandler: Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone. there.Joey: Instead of.?Chandler: Thats right.Joey: Never had that d

21、ream.Phoebe: No.Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And they werent looking at you before?!Chandler: Finally, I figure Id better answer it, and it turns out its my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she neve

22、r calls me!Time Lapse, Ross has entered.Ross: (mortified) Hi.Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.Chandler: Cookie?Monica: (

23、explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!

24、Ross: Ill be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy.Monica: No you dont.Ross: No I dont, to hell with her, she left me!Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian.Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didnt know, how should I know?Chandler: Sometimes I wis

25、h I was a lesbian. (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., Ill never have grandchildren, Ill never have grandchildren. was what?

26、A wrong number?Ross: Sorry.Joey: Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain right now. Youre angry. Youre hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?(Ross gestures his consent.)Joey: Strip joint! Cmon, youre single! Have some hormones!Ross: I dont want to be single, okay? I just. I just- I just

27、 wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)Monica: Rachel?!Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you werent there and then this guy with a bi

28、g hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother

29、Ross? Rachel: Hi, sure!Ross: Hi. (They go to hug but Rosss umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?Rachel: Oh God. well, it started

30、about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee) Sweet n Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gra

31、vy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Yknow, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but. Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?. (to Mon

32、ica) So anyway I just didnt know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but youre the only person I knew who lived here in the city.Monica: Who wasnt invited to the wedding.Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue. Scene: Monicas Apartment, everyone is there

33、 and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.Monica: Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and shes really not happy about it. Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!Ross: (in a deep voice) Ill have whatever Christine is ha

34、ving.Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just. I cant marry him! Im sorry. I just dont love him. Well, it matters to me! (The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pant

35、s. Joey: I say push her down the stairs. Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)Rachel: Cmon Daddy, listen to me! Its like, its like, all of my life, everyone has always told m

36、e, Youre a shoe! Youre a shoe, youre a shoe, youre a shoe!. And today I just stopped and I said, What if I dont wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, yknow? Or a- or a hat! No, Im not saying I want you to buy me a hat, Im saying I am a ha- Its a metaphor, Daddy!Ross: You can see where hed

37、have trouble.Rachel: Look Daddy, its my life. Well maybe Ill just stay here with Monica. Monica: Well, I guess weve established whos staying here with Monica.Rachel: Well, maybe thats my decision. Well, maybe I dont need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe!Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a pape

38、r bag.Monica: Just breathe, breathe. thats it. Just try to think of nice calm things. Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens. La la la la.something and noodles with string. These are a

39、 few.Rachel: Im all better now.Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, yknow? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, hat thing.Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always

40、come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And hes away a lot.Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! Its her wedding day!Joey: What, like theres a rule or something?(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler: Please dont do that again, its a horrible sound.Paul: (over the intercom)

41、Its, uh, its Paul.Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!Joey: Whos Paul?Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your not a real date tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?Ross: He finally asked you out?Monica: Yes!Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.Monica: Rach, wait, I can ca

42、ncel.Rachel: Please, no, go, thatd be fine!Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?Ross: (choked voice) Thatd be good.Monica: (horrified) Really?Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! Its Paul the Wine Guy!Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain

43、a lot? (Chandler doesnt know.)(Theres a knock on the door and its Paul.)Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is. (They are all lined up next to the door.). everybody, everybody, this is Paul.All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!Chandler: Im sorry, I didnt catch your name. Paul, was it?Monica: Okay, umm-

44、umm, Ill just-Ill be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah.Ross: A wandering?Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That cant be good.(Monica goes to change.)Joey: Hey, Paul!Paul: Yeah?Joey: Heres a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!Ross: So Rachel, whatre you, uh. whatre you up to tonight?Rachel: Well, I was kinda suppose