2021年老友记剧本第一季01(中英文对照).pdf

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1、101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate(The Pilot-The Uncut Version)Scene:Central Perk,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,and Monica are there.Monica:Theres nothing to tell!Hes just some guy I work with!Joey:Come on,youre going out with the guy!Theres gotta be something wrong with him!Chandler:All right Joey

2、,be nice.So does he have a hump?A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe:Wait,does he eat chalk?(They all stare,bemused.)Phoebe:Just,cause,I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl-oh!Monica:Okay,everybody relax.This is not even a date.Its just two people going out to dinner and-not having se

3、x.Chandler:Sounds like a date to me.Time Lapse Chandler:Alright,so Im back in high school,Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria,and I realize I am totally naked.All:Oh,yeah.Had that dream.Chandler:Then I look down,and I realize theres a phone.there.Joey:Instead of.?Chandler:Thats right.Joey:Nev

4、er had that dream.Phoebe:No.Chandler:All of a sudden,the phone starts to ring.Now I dont know what to do,everybody starts looking at me.Monica:And they werent looking at you before?!Chandler:Finally,I figure Id better answer it,and it turns out its my mother,which is very-very weird,because-she neve

5、r calls me!Time Lapse,Ross has entered.Ross:(mortified)Hi.Joey:This guy says hello,I wanna kill myself.Monica:Are you okay,sweetie?Ross:I just feel like someone reached down my throat,grabbed my small intestine,pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.Chandler:Cookie?Monica:(explaining t

6、o the others)Carol moved her stuff out today.Joey:Ohh.Monica:(to Ross)Let me get you some coffee.Ross:Thanks.Phoebe:Ooh!Oh!(She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross:No,no dont!Stop cleansing my aura!No,just leave my aura alone,okay?Phoebe:Fine!Be murky!Ross:Ill be fine,alright?Real

7、ly,everyone.I hope shell be very happy.Monica:No you dont.Ross:No I dont,to hell with her,she left me!Joey:And you never knew she was a lesbian.Ross:No!Okay?!Why does everyone keep fixating on that?She didnt know,how should I know?101 试播没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！少来了，你和那个人一起出去！拜托，和你交往的男人一定有问题！打住，乔伊，嘴下留德。他驼背？既驼

8、背又带假发？慢着，他吃粉笔吗？我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。各位别急，这不算约会。我们不过是出去吃晚餐，而且不做爱。听起来好像是说我的约会。记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，突然发现自己全身赤裸。我做过那样的梦。我低头一看，看见有一支电话在那儿。而不是？没错。我没做过那样的梦,没有。那支电话突然响起，而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。他们以前不看你吗？！终于，我认为我应该接，结果是我妈打来，我感到很奇怪，因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！嗨。这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。你还好吧？我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙，抓起我的肠子，从我的口中取出，然后绑在我脖上饼干？卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了。-我帮你泡杯

9、咖啡，谢了。不要别清理我的灵气。可是别碰我的灵气就是了。好吧，保持晦气！我会没事的，真的，我祝她幸福。-不，你不会的，没错，-我不会的，去她的，她甩掉我！而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。没有！行了吧？！为何大家都围着这个话题打转？连她不知道，我怎会知道。精品w o r d 学习资料 可编辑资料-精心整理-欢迎下载-第 1 页，共 11 页Chandler:Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.(They all stare at him.)Did I say that out loud?Ross:I told mom and dad last night,they

10、 seemed to take it pretty well.Monica:Oh really,so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing3:00 A.M.,Ill never have grandchildren,Ill never have grandchildren.was what?A wrong number?Ross:Sorry.Joey:Alright Ross,look.Youre feeling a lot of pain right now.Youre angry.Youre hurting.Can

11、 I tell you what the answer is?(Ross gestures his consent.)Joey:Strip joint!Cmon,youre single!Have some hormones!Ross:I dont want to be single,okay?I just.I just-I just wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler:And I just want a million doll

12、ars!(He extends his hand hopefully.)Monica:Rachel?!Rachel:Oh God Monica hi!Thank God!I just went to your building and you werent there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are,you are!Waitress:Can I get you some coffee?Monica:(pointing at Rachel)De-caff.(to All)Okay,eve

13、rybody,this is Rachel,another Lincoln High survivor.(to Rachel)This is everybody,this is Chandler,and Phoebe,and Joey,and-you remember my brother Ross?Rachel:Hi,sure!Ross:Hi.(They go to hug but Rosss umbrellaopens.He sits back down defeated again.A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the ot

14、hers expect her to explain.)Monica:So you wanna tell us now,or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?Rachel:Oh God.well,it started about a half hour before the wedding.I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,and I was looking at this gravyboat.This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy bo

15、at.When all of a sudden-(to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet n Lo?-I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!And then I got really freaked out,and thats when it hit me:how much Barry looks like Mr.Potato Head.Yknow,I mean,I always knew looked familiar,but.Anyway

16、,I just had to get out of there,and I started wondering Why am I doing this,and who am I doing this for?.(to Monica)So anyway I just didnt know where to go,and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,but youre the only person I knew who lived here in the city.Monica:Who wasnt invited to the w

17、edding.Rachel:Ooh,I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue.Scene:Monicas Apartment,everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.Monica:Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ,and shes really not happy about it.Chandler:(imitating

18、the characters)Tuna or egg salad?Decide!Ross:(in a deep voice)Ill have whatever Christine is having.Rachel:(on phone)Daddy,I just.I cant marry him!Im sorry.I just dont love him.Well,it matters to me!有时真希望自己也是个女同志。我刚刚大声说出来了吗？昨晚我告诉我父母，他们好像还挺好。真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个电话，一个女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉，“我不能抱孙子了，我不能抱孙子了。”那是什么？打错了？对不

19、起。别闷闷不乐了，罗斯。你现在很痛苦。我一肚子火,心如刀割。能告诉你解决之道吗？脱衣舞酒店。你单身，有性需求。我不想单身的。我只想再结婚。我只想要一百万！-瑞秋？！-天啊，莫妮卡，谢天谢地！我到过你的住处，你不在。有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿，结果你真的在这儿。想来杯咖啡吗？无咖啡因的。各位，她叫瑞秋，另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人。这位叫钱德勒，菲比，乔伊。还记得我哥罗斯吗？当然。嗨。你想现在告诉我们，还是等伴娘来再说？婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。我在堆放礼物的房间里，看着船形卤肉盘，非常漂亮的船形卤肉盘，突然间有没有代糖？我了解船形卤肉盘此巴瑞更能引起我的“性趣”，我自己都吓了一跳，

20、巴瑞愈看愈像猪头先生。我一直都认为他很眼熟。总之,我必须离开。我开始想，我为何这么做？我为谁这样做？于是我不知该走往何处，我知道你我日渐疏远。但是你是我在这个城市，认识的唯一一个人。好像是唯一没受邀参加婚礼的人。这件事就甭提啦。我猜他送她一台管风琴，她肯定不喜欢，金枪鱼还是鸡蛋沙拉？快决定！我要拥有克莉丝汀拥有的一切。爸，我不能嫁给他对不起，我只是不爱他。对，是我的问题！精品w o r d 学习资料 可编辑资料-精心整理-欢迎下载-第 2 页，共 11 页文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1

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26、6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5

27、X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4(The scene on TV has changed to show two women,one is holding her hair.)Phoebe:If I let go of my hair,my head will fall off.Chandler:(re TV)Ooh,she should not be wearing those pants.Joey:I say push her

28、down the stairs.Phoebe,Ross,Chandler,and Joey:Push her down the stairs!Push her down the stairs!Push her down the stairs!(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)Rachel:Cmon Daddy,listen to me!Its like,its like,all of my life,everyone has always told me,Youre a shoe!Youre a shoe,youre a s

29、hoe,youre a shoe!.And today I just stopped and I said,What if I dont wanna be a shoe?What if I wanna be a-a purse,yknow?Or a-or a hat!No,Im not saying I want you to buy me a hat,Im saying I am a ha-Its a metaphor,Daddy!Ross:You can see where hed have trouble.Rachel:Look Daddy,its my life.Well maybe

30、Ill just stay here with Monica.Monica:Well,I guess weve established whos staying here with Monica.Rachel:Well,maybe thats my decision.Well,maybe I dont need your money.Wait!Wait,I said maybe!Time Lapse,Rachel is breating into a paper bag.Monica:Just breathe,breathe.thats it.Just try to think of nice

31、 calm things.Phoebe:(sings)Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens,(Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.)bluebells and sleighbells and-something with mittens.La la la la.something and noodles with string.These are a few.Rachel:Im all better now.Phoebe:(grins and walks to the kitchen and says to

32、 Chandler and Joey.)I helped!Monica:Okay,look,this is probably for the best,yknow?Independence.Taking control of your life.The whole,hat thing.Joey:(comforting her)And hey,you need anything,you can always come to Joey.Me and Chandler live across the hall.And hes away a lot.Monica:Joey,stop hitting o

33、n her!Its her wedding day!Joey:What,like theres a rule or something?(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler:Please dont do that again,its a horrible sound.Paul:(over the intercom)Its,uh,its Paul.Monica:Oh God,is it 6:30?Buzz him in!Joey:Whos Paul?Ross:Paul the Wine Guy,Paul?Monica:May

34、be.Joey:Wait.Your not a real date tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?Ross:He finally asked you out?Monica:Yes!Chandler:Ooh,this is a Dear Diary moment.Monica:Rach,wait,I can cancel.Rachel:Please,no,go,thatd be fine!Monica:(to Ross)Are,are you okay?I mean,do you want me to stay?Ross:(choked voice)That

35、d be good.Monica:(horrified)Really?Ross:(normal voice)No,go on!Its Paul the Wine Guy!Phoebe:What does that mean?Does he sell it,drink it,or just complain a lot?(Chandler doesnt know.)如果我没了头发，还不如去死。她不该穿那条裤子。我建议推她下楼，推她下楼！推她下楼！推她下楼！爸，你听我说大家这样评价我这一辈子：你是一只鞋今天我倒想看看如果我不再是鞋会怎样。我说如果我想当皮包呢？或是帽子呢？不，我不需你帮我买帽子。我

36、说我是一顶帽子。爸，这是一种比喻。你看他也有些问题。爸，这是我的人生。或许我会和莫妮卡住在这儿。我想我们已确定好谁要和莫妮卡住在这儿。或许那是我的决定。或许我不希罕你的钱。等一下，等一下我说的是或许！深呼吸，就这样。试着想着美好的事物玫瑰上的雨滴，猫嘴上的胡须，门铃和雪橇之类的。啦啦 啦还有手套我现在好多了。我的功劳。或许这样最好，要自立，决定自己的事情。有任何需要找乔伊准没错。我和钱德勒就住在对面，而且他经常不在家。乔伊,少趁虚而入了，今天是她大喜的日子。什么？有规定不能吗？别再这样，声音很刺耳。我是保罗。天啊，6:30 了吗？让他进来！保罗是谁？调酒的那个保罗？或许吧。等等,你今晚该不是真

37、的要和调酒的那个保罗约会吧？他终于开口约你了？对。终于被你等到了。瑞秋，等等，我可以取消。不用了，你去吧，我不会有事的。罗斯，你没事吧。你要我留下来吗？那样最好真的吗？-假的，去吧！是保罗，调酒师耶！什么意思？他是卖酒的，喝酒的，还是评酒的？精品w o r d 学习资料 可编辑资料-精心整理-欢迎下载-第 3 页，共 11 页文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6

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42、5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6

43、E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4文档编码:CQ10

44、I4E6C8T4 HU4Z1W5X2F1 ZB3H5Z6E2Y4(Theres a knock on the door and its Paul.)Monica:Hi,come in!Paul,this is.(They are all lined up next to the door.).everybody,everybody,this is Paul.All:Hey!Paul!Hi!The Wine Guy!Hey!Chandler:Im sorry,I didnt catch your name.Paul,was it?Monica:Okay,umm-umm,Ill just-Ill

45、be right back,I just gotta go ah,go ah.Ross:A wandering?Monica:Change!Okay,sit down.(Shows Paul in)Two seconds.Phoebe:Ooh,I just pulled out four eyelashes.That cant be good.(Monica goes to change.)Joey:Hey,Paul!Paul:Yeah?Joey:Heres a little tip,she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same s

46、potover and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.Monica:(yelling from the bedroom)Shut up,Joey!Ross:So Rachel,whatre you,uh.whatre you up to tonight?Rachel:Well,I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon,so nothing!Ross:Right,youre not even getting your honeymoon,

47、God.No,no,although,Aruba,this time of year.talk about your-(thinks)-big lizards.Anyway,if you dont feel like being alone tonight,Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.Chandler:(deadpan)Yes,and were very excited about it.Rachel:Well actually thanks,but I think Im

48、just gonna hang out here tonight.Its been kinda a long day.Ross:Okay,sure.Joey:Hey Pheebs,you wanna help?Phoebe:Oh,I wish I could,but I dont want to.Commercial Break Scene:The Subway,Phoebe is singing for change.Phoebe:(singing)Love is sweet as summer showers,love is a wondrous work of art,but your

49、love oh your love,your love.is like a giant pigeon.crapping on my heart.La-la-la-la-la-(some guy gives her some change and to that guy)Thank you.(sings)La-la-la-la.ohhh!Scene:Rosss Apartment,the guys are there assembling furniture.Ross:(squatting and reading the instructions)Im supposed to attach a

50、brackety thing to the side things,using a bunch of these little worm guys.I have no brackety thing,I see no whim guys whatsoever and-I cannot feel my legs.(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)Joey:Im thinking weve got a bookcase here.Chandler:Its a beautiful thing.Joey:(picking