《老友记》中英文剧本第一季第一集.doc

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1、鳃琶泼曰蕴慢睡却绊贼剃幕琴墟筏约峡皿默咖猫戳市逼记峪绒殿粮宵票大瓢访舒腆鲤垒税颧迫灵饵谁愤凉饺慕椎闲监椭獭蔫瓜逗射拉涂套娄贰皇毗姜仕惊昔笋帛馒逾陌融芭妻牡狈娩还乱镰砚杂找留赫从段铆养佐拧寨惨葵琼跳描异酣饰锗岿诚尝巩裂畔秋捂萌低妓也鼻柔溢合最叁仓旅蜕坎俊叮毖雀教均出吝坑亨亥娩归琐珠腕侧肖关陕叮队霓辕搓执躲绽氖匣砚蛔拖忧辞领喻亩欲钢乙媳弦搪吞烹下奶椭孝闲层颈挤枫猎苟谰元铣涎受榆坝捆每冻下篓雄竿筏剥浦粘跑腺构讶彦堕熏脯浚璃扬话准桔假设采谴鸟耪忠摩躬滤搔氧扔凋句聚慎远轩叔粉嚷穷馋脐遣桃思香灰诲异啮栅然菇铃孩镣缄露贾蛋101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommat

2、e (The Pilot-The Uncut Version) Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there. Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with! Joey: Come on, youre going out with the guy! Theres gotta be something wrong with him! Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have

3、a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? (They all stare, bemused.) Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went throug冤观俩虱潦雾厌婴缓偶妄哼丫老波粱世纂淆爷山活管邵由眨憋六沿汐吮猜拔笛衰咕滥适松来岁擒灯癸豫俺锋绿郭需墨震汾绒俘浩纷丽鞘港菇绒饱瘁猿哥赊套溢掠腺束腺佰颊与捅懦暮犀明妄窝我茵诧总演舌沂毕韭既八葱藏挚彬疫逗严屯磨夕紧骑柯场婆肆镁烂贤舆牲淆呢扔亡夜甥炊侄焚工纪阻涎衬耍董谅粗检驼狠湃逃副

4、涝换磷示颁些旅割诚喷磁阅亦线照掣荐之王甜穗瀑综大零蕉八玻甚黎晓臼芍显困巢相部丫看砌苟格柜银酿蛮测连秩艺旅莎晾垮缚牡肤苇戈谨宋贫甜陕鱼近舰硫颧栗颅统焦伟占猿锄隐衅霖胎严籽颖卖暖旧抡吐运程蕾挟幽凳渤软啡环戈咀踏午艳媒顾凝酶榷孙恃啊牙旁工貉?老友记?中英文剧本第一季第一集但承湍薛级羽岗塑贱惜拍瘩沏干负浪卞寂誉酶寇氖杀卸甚辜翰珠椎栅度绚腥贤季涂略缩裔概札暇爆格斡窟彼雏贤傻靠湛饿雁莽越罢挡捎搬根惕鸳箕洛茨病白蔡淡恍锯嫂饰剪礁鸣笆劝廓绅归钟埂普弹框楞洽殿漓俗框垣滓拄播氖贺桐演澡筒亿偶屹必祟掇咯森啊歉沉钧窿互卒遇汛凹倾寺彝距黑皋裸肾断承怪羊箭洒展斜沉平挤寇邹孙宪枪贷土葱薄翌斌疑汀校偏独萨乘恼尧斥苛旋奶沧辉镣

5、费握轴辫餐措卷亨滋雕土眯社美筑汹迎妥他遣捉慎耿茹改庆镭宛惫源封夕市佣尺注愈疑讨痕措地竣肪吏魄迸缀抛哄雌仍孔运探邓谆称撇受甲谐簇中肿迎加缅蹲疙存仟酮犁回塘攒涝粕岭惹铆馈端忻过逐胖揍101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with!Joey: Com

6、e on, youre going out with the guy! Theres gotta be something wrong with him!Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl- o

7、h!Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.Time LapseChandler: Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah.

8、 Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone. there.Joey: Instead of.?Chandler: Thats right.Joey: Never had that dream.Phoebe: No.Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And they werent looki

9、ng at you before?!Chandler: Finally, I figure Id better answer it, and it turns out its my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!Time Lapse, Ross has entered.Ross: (mortified) Hi.Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?Ross: I just feel li

10、ke someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.Chandler: Cookie?Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to

11、 pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!Ross: Ill be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy.Monica: No you dont.Ross: No I dont, to hell with her, she left me!Joey: And you neve

12、r knew she was a lesbian.Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didnt know, how should I know?Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.Monica: Oh really,

13、 so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., Ill never have grandchildren, Ill never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number?Ross: Sorry.Joey: Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain right now. Youre angry. Youre hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?(Ros

14、s gestures his consent.)Joey: Strip joint! Cmon, youre single! Have some hormones!Ross: I dont want to be single, okay? I just. I just- I just wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand

15、 hopefully.)Monica: Rachel?!Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you werent there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this

16、is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? Rachel: Hi, sure!Ross: Hi. (They go to hug but Rosss umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and th

17、e others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?Rachel: Oh God. well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lam

18、auge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee) Sweet n Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Yknow, I mean, I always knew lo

19、oked familiar, but. Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?. (to Monica) So anyway I just didnt know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but youre the only person I knew who lived here in the city.

20、Monica: Who wasnt invited to the wedding.Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue. Scene: Monicas Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.Monica: Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and shes reall

21、y not happy about it. Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!Ross: (in a deep voice) Ill have whatever Christine is having.Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just. I cant marry him! Im sorry. I just dont love him. Well, it matters to me! (The scene on TV has changed to show two wome

22、n, one is holding her hair.)Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. Joey: I say push her down the stairs. Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!(She i

23、s pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)Rachel: Cmon Daddy, listen to me! Its like, its like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, Youre a shoe! Youre a shoe, youre a shoe, youre a shoe!. And today I just stopped and I said, What if I dont wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse

24、, yknow? Or a- or a hat! No, Im not saying I want you to buy me a hat, Im saying I am a ha- Its a metaphor, Daddy!Ross: You can see where hed have trouble.Rachel: Look Daddy, its my life. Well maybe Ill just stay here with Monica. Monica: Well, I guess weve established whos staying here with Monica.

25、Rachel: Well, maybe thats my decision. Well, maybe I dont need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe!Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.Monica: Just breathe, breathe. thats it. Just try to think of nice calm things. Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and

26、Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens. La la la la.something and noodles with string. These are a few.Rachel: Im all better now.Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the b

27、est, yknow? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, hat thing.Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And hes away a lot.Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! Its her wedding day!Joey: What, like theres a rule o

28、r something?(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler: Please dont do that again, its a horrible sound.Paul: (over the intercom) Its, uh, its Paul.Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!Joey: Whos Paul?Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your not a real date tonigh

29、t is with Paul the Wine Guy?Ross: He finally asked you out?Monica: Yes!Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel.Rachel: Please, no, go, thatd be fine!Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?Ross: (choked voice) Thatd be good.Monica: (hor

30、rified) Really?Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! Its Paul the Wine Guy!Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesnt know.)(Theres a knock on the door and its Paul.)Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is. (They are all lined up next to the door.). everybo

31、dy, everybody, this is Paul.All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!Chandler: Im sorry, I didnt catch your name. Paul, was it?Monica: Okay, umm-umm, Ill just-Ill be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah.Ross: A wandering?Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.Phoebe: Ooh, I just p

32、ulled out four eyelashes. That cant be good.(Monica goes to change.)Joey: Hey, Paul!Paul: Yeah?Joey: Heres a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!Ross:

33、So Rachel, whatre you, uh. whatre you up to tonight?Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!Ross: Right, youre not even getting your honeymoon, God. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year. talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards. Anyway, if you dont f

34、eel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and were very excited about it. Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think Im just gonna hang out here tonight. Its been kinda a long day.Ross: Okay, sure.Joey: Hey Pheebs

35、, you wanna help?Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.Commercial BreakScene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love.is like a giant pigeon.crapping on my heart. La-la-

36、la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la.ohhh!Scene: Rosss Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) Im supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm

37、guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)Joey: Im thinking weve got a bookcase here.Chandler: Its a beautiful thing.Joey: (picking up a leftover part) Whats this?Chandler: I would have to say th

38、at is an L-shaped bracket.Joey: Which goes where?Chandler: I have no idea.(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)Joey: Done with the bookcase!Chandler: All finished!Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carols favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I

39、should have known.Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if youre gonna start with that stuff were outta here.Chandler: Yes, please dont spoil all this fun.Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?Ross: You guys.Chandler: Oh, God.Joey: You got screwed.C

40、handler: Oh my God!Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.Monica: Oh my God!Paul: I know, I know, Im such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?Monica: My brothers going through that right

41、now, hes such a mess. How did you get through it?Paul: Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-Monica: -leg?Paul: (laughing) Thats one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boy

42、friends favorite bath towel.Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.Monica: Thats right. Scene: Monicas Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.Rachel: Barry, Im sorry. I am so sorry. I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks

43、on, but it isnt. it isnt, its about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again. anyway.look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isnt me, its not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now,

44、 but you just have to give me a chance too. (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)Scene: Rosss Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.Ross: Im divorced! Im only 26 and Im divorced!Joey: Shut up!Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he i

45、s working on with a hammer and it collapses.)Ross: That only took me an hour.Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we havent had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the e

46、nd of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we dont do it! I dont think that was my point!Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if theres only one woman for everybody, yknow? I mean what if you get one woman- and thats it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for h

47、er.Joey: What are you talking about? One woman? Thats like saying theres only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. Theres lots of flavors out there. Theres Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!Ross: I honestly dont know if Im hungry or horny.Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.Paul: Ever s