20个英语笑话爆笑超短.pdf

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1、2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短个英语笑话爆笑超短2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短个英语笑话爆笑超短【篇一：【篇一：2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短】个英语笑话爆笑超短】2020 个爆笑超短：个爆笑超短：before the final examination,tom told his mother,mom,i had abefore the final examination,tom told his mother,mom,i had adream last night that i d passed today s exam.don t trustdream last night that i d p

2、assed today s exam.don t trustdreams,dear.it is said what you experience in dreams usuallydreams,dear.it is said what you experience in dreams usuallyturns out to be the opposite.mother replied.then i do hope i llturns out to be the opposite.mother replied.then i do hope i llfail the other subjects

3、in my dream tonight,tom said.fail the other subjects in my dream tonight,tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。妈妈答道。妈妈答道。那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。汤姆说。汤姆说。2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短

4、：个英语笑话爆笑超短：on the way home after watching a ballet performance,ton the way home after watching a ballet performance,the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thoughthe kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thoughtof it.the smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancer

5、sof it.the smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancerswere taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes allwere taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes allthe time.the time.在观看完表演回家的路上，在观看完表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的。幼儿园老师问学生的。班上最小的女孩说，班上最小的女孩说，她希望演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整

6、天踮着脚尖了。她希望演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短：个英语笑话爆笑超短：professor:when is your birthday?kid:may 30.professor:whichprofessor:when is your birthday?kid:may 30.professor:whichyear?kid:every year.year?kid:every year.教授：你的生日是什么时候教授：你的生日是什么时候?孩子：孩子：5 5 月月 3030 日。教授：哪一年日。教授：哪一年?孩子：孩子：每年都是。每年都是。2020 个

7、英语笑话爆笑超短：个英语笑话爆笑超短：老师在黑板上写了一句：老师在黑板上写了一句：time is money.time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：答道：汤姆是玛丽。汤姆是玛丽。小明上英文课时跟老师说：小明上英文课时跟老师说：may i go to the toilet?may i go to the toilet?老师说：老师说：go ahead.go ahead.小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：may i go to themay i go to thetoilet?toilet?老师说：老

8、师说：go ahead.go ahead.小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗厕所吗?怎么不去怎么不去?小明说：你没听老师说去你个头啊小明说：你没听老师说去你个头啊!2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短：个英语笑话爆笑超短：某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：i am hongtao liui am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我，外宾曰：我tmtm 还是方片七呢还是方片七呢!2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短：个英语笑话爆笑超短：江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾

9、一见江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道：到江青，立刻拍马屁道：miss jiang,you are very beautiful.miss jiang,you are very beautiful.翻译翻译照翻，江青心花怒照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：哪里，哪里哪里，哪里。翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文：翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文：where?where?where?where?外宾一愣，外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底：还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底：everywhere

10、,everywhere,everywhere.everywhere.翻译：翻译：你到处都很漂亮。你到处都很漂亮。江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：不见得，不见得不见得，不见得。翻译赶紧翻。翻译赶紧翻成英文：成英文：you are not allowed to see,you are not allowed to see.you are not allowed to see,you are not allowed to see.2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短：个英语笑话爆笑超短：话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭

11、手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。人头上的苹果。a a 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。a a 高傲高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：拇指道：i ami am 后羿后羿!b b 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：i ami am 丘比丘比特特!轮到轮到 c c 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出了，他也挽弓，利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：巴巴好久才吐出一句：i.i.i.am.sorry.i.i.i.am.so

12、rry.2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短：个英语笑话爆笑超短：某人刻苦，某人刻苦，终有小成。终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：忙说：i am sorry.i am sorry.老外应道：老外应道：i am sorry too.i am sorry too.某人听后又道：某人听后又道：i am sorry three.i am sorry three.老外不解，问：老外不解，问：what are you sorry for?what are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：某人无奈，道：i am sorry five.i am sorry five.202

13、0 个英语笑话爆笑超短：个英语笑话爆笑超短：一位来自日本的旅客，一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆经过，看到一辆经过，就说：就说：ohoh，tokota!made in japan!it is very fast!tokota!made in japan!it is very fast!又有一辆经过，他又说：又有一辆经过，他又说：ohoh，nissan!made in japan!it is very fast!nissan!made in japan!it is very fast!司机有点不高兴，觉得司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了他太吵了!当第三辆经过时

14、，他还是说：当第三辆经过时，他还是说：ohoh，honda!made in japan!honda!made in japan!it is very fast!it is very fast!后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：how much?how much?出租车司机说：出租车司机说：1000!1000!“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的!”!”律师哀怨地说。律师哀怨地说。“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”!”警察反驳说，警察反驳说，“你这么关心你你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没

15、了。可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”?”a lawyer opened the door of his bmw,when suddenly a cara lawyer opened the door of his bmw,when suddenly a carcame along and hit the door,ripping it off completely.when thecame along and hit the door,ripping it

16、off completely.when thepolice arrived at the scene,the lawyer was complaining bitterlypolice arrived at the scene,the lawyer was complaining bitterlyabout the damage to his precious bmw.about the damage to his precious bmw.officer,look what theyve done to my beeeemer!,he whined.officer,look what the

17、yve done to my beeeemer!,he whined.you lawyers are so materialistic,you make me sick!retortedyou lawyers are so materialistic,you make me sick!retortedthe officer,youre so worried about your stupid bmw,that youthe officer,youre so worried about your stupid bmw,that youdidnt even notice that your lef

18、t arm was ripped off!didnt even notice that your left arm was ripped off!狗住旅店狗住旅店一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”?”旅馆主人立即回了封信，旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而餐具，或者墙上的画

19、。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。a man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on hisa man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on hisvacation:i would very much like to bring my dog with me.he is

20、vacation:i would very much like to bring my dog with me.he iswell-groomed and very well behaved.would you be willing towell-groomed and very well behaved.would you be willing topermit me to keep him in my room with me at night?permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?an immediate reply came

21、 from the hotel owner,who said,ivean immediate reply came from the hotel owner,who said,ivebeen operating this hotel for many years.in all that time,ivebeen operating this hotel for many years.in all that time,ivenever had a dog steal towels,bedclothes,silverware or picturesnever had a dog steal tow

22、els,bedclothes,silverware or picturesoff the walls.ive never had to evict a dog in the middle of theoff the walls.ive never had to evict a dog in the middle of thenight for being drunk and disorderly.and ive never had a dognight for being drunk and disorderly.and ive never had a dogrun out on a hote

23、l bill.yes,indeed,your dog is welcome at myrun out on a hotel bill.yes,indeed,your dog is welcome at myhotel.and,if your dog will vouch for you,youre welcome to stayhotel.and,if your dog will vouch for you,youre welcome to stayhere,too.here,too.【篇三：【篇三：2020 个英语笑话爆笑超短】个英语笑话爆笑超短】q:what s the differenc

24、e between a monk ey and a flea?q:what s the difference between a monk ey and a flea?a:a monkey can have fleas,but a flea ca n t have monkeys.a:a monkey can have fleas,but a flea ca n t have monkeys.猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直 接的想到它们俩是一大一接的想到它们俩是一大一小。小。但除此之外呢，但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不而跳蚤身上却不 能能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？q:how can you most irritate a farmer?q:how can you most irritate a farmer?a:by treading on his corn?a:by treading on his corn?