【人教部编版】七年级上语文《写作 学会记事》优质课堂教学PPT课件.pptx

《【人教部编版】七年级上语文《写作 学会记事》优质课堂教学PPT课件.pptx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《【人教部编版】七年级上语文《写作 学会记事》优质课堂教学PPT课件.pptx（33页珍藏版）》请在得力文库 - 分享文档赚钱的网站上搜索。

1、写作 学会记事,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才

2、路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才

3、路,状元成才路,目标导航,了解记叙的要素，学会有详有略、条理清楚地叙写事件。 学会在记事中抓住细节，抒发自己的真情实感。 学会锤炼语言，养成写日记或周记、记录生活中的人和事的习惯。,文题展示,一、下面这段文字记事过于简单，读起来让人兴味索然。请你帮作者“添枝加叶”，把它写得丰满、生动一些。 那天放学回家，我不小心摔了一跤，手受了伤，校服也磕破了。回到家里，爸爸、妈妈、爷爷、奶奶都很心疼，嘱咐我以后走路要小心。,二、以那一次，我真_为题，先将题目补充完整，然后写一篇以记事为主的作文。不少于500字。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,

4、状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,

5、状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,三、我们每个人都在家庭的怀抱中生活、成长。家人的关怀照顾、理解支持，都给我们无尽的勇气与力量。在

6、你的生活中，曾有过什么事情，让你深切地感受到家庭的温暖、亲情的可贵？以我们是一家人为题，自主立意，写一篇作文。不少于500字。,写作要求,扩写练习要以保留语段的原意为原则，可以从添加细节和融入情感两方面，适当地“添枝加叶”，尽量把事情写得丰满、生动一些。 以记事为主的作文，要写清记叙的六个要素。题目完整，诗歌除外，达到记事文章的一般要求。,叙事时，要恰如其分地表达自己的情感，让文章更生动，更加富有感染力。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路

7、,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路

8、,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,技法点拨,记事能力是最基本的写作能力，培养这种能力需要反复地学习、训练。要养成这一能力，要注意以下四点：,1.交代要素 一般事件都有事情的起因、经过和结果，都有时间、地点和人物。写作时交代好

9、事件的这些要素，就能让读者基本了解所写事件。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状

10、元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状

11、元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,2.安排主次 有了材料之后，不能眉毛胡子一把抓，还要学会有详有略地叙事。事情的经过是记叙的主要内容，要详写。同时，要把一件事写清楚，动笔之前先要想清楚，理清事情的来龙去脉，再按照一定的顺序有条理地写下来。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,

12、状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,

13、状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,3.明确目的 很多时候，记事也是为了传达情感，分享体验，因此，还要学会写得有感情。怎样才能写得有感情呢？关键是要写自己亲身经历的、感同身受的事，说发自内心的话。我们写作记事文章的时候，要记真实的事，忠实于自己的感受，切忌无病呻吟，“为赋新词强说愁”，甚至写虚假的情感。,4.锤炼语言 我们在写作时可以学习使用一些能够贴切表达情感的词语或句子，抓住一

14、些感人的细节。开始的时候可以借鉴或模仿曾经自己读过的作品，潜移默化地也就会写出能感染读者的好句子了。,范文引路,文题一例文,那天放学，刚走出校门，我就看见前面围了一大群人，发生什么事了？我边想着边迅速地跑过去。一不留神，重重地摔了一跤，手上擦破了皮，校服裤子也磕破了。我垂头丧气地回到家，奶奶一看见我就大惊失色地叫起来：“哟，这是怎么了呀？撞倒了还是摔跤了”,开头发出疑问，情节顿生波澜，吸引读者阅读。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

15、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

16、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,我还没开口，妈妈又围上来，心疼地检查我身上说：“瞧这手上都蹭破皮了，还有哪里伤着没有？”还是爸爸比较冷静，简单地问清原委后，摸着我的头说：“男子汉这点小伤算不了什么，以后走路注意一下就行了！”站在

17、边上的爷爷，手上已经拿着药水和纱布准备给我处理伤口了。,鲜明的语言、动作、神态描写。人物形象毕现。,总评：,行文紧扣文题，摔跤是因，爸爸、妈妈、奶奶、爷爷对“我”的关心是主体。扩写增加了对摔跤原因的交代及细致、生动的人物刻画，使情节合理完整而起伏有致，人物栩栩如生如在面前，表现了亲人对“我”无微不至的浓浓的关爱之情。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

18、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

19、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,那一次，我真的很棒 那一次演讲，我真的很棒。它让我勇于挑战自我，昂首挺胸走向远方。 念七年级时，学校里举行了一场和“理想”有关的演讲比赛。我毫不犹豫地报名参加了。日子在找材料、背稿子、排练中紧张地度过。在稍闲的时间里，我便会忍不住地想些细节问题，比如说台上应该做什,开篇点题破题，

20、总领全文。,文题二例文,么样的手势呀，该穿什么样的衣服呀，微笑时该露几颗牙齿呀总之，我惶恐而兴奋，惴惴不安又满怀期待。 在我惶恐而又兴奋的等待中，比赛的日子终于来到了。参赛选手都在后台做着准备工作。令人憋闷的空气中满是紧张的气氛，我觉得似乎要窒息了。我想象着自己面对千万双眼睛注视的场,交代演讲前的准备。,景，自己给自己打着气。当轮到我上场时，我顺利地完成了排练多遍的程序化动作。接下来却有些紧张，感到声音似乎有些发抖。我赶忙在心里安慰自己：一定要镇静，刚开始有一点点紧张，这是正常的。我挺直了脊梁，用手潇洒地捋了一下额前的刘海，声音 变得激昂有力，目光自然地逡巡全场。我以一个演讲,写演讲前的紧张。

21、,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路

22、,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路

23、,家的心态全身心投入演讲，激情飞扬，把自己的理想畅谈得淋漓尽致。和我设想的一样，当我最后用一句铿锵有力的话结束了我的演讲时，下面响起了一阵阵热烈的掌声。 事情到这里还没有结束。演讲结束后不久，我所在的学校开展征文活动，我很自然地想到了我的演讲稿。为了这篇稿子，我倾注了太多太多每,写演讲的感受和做法。,每天一下课就直奔图书馆，一头扎进书籍纸堆中查找资料；回到家依旧不放弃分分秒秒，苦思冥想反复修改，甚至直至深夜。我怎么忍心让自己的心血付之东流呢？于是，我将稿子毅然投了出去，没想到居然发表了！当自己捧着印有自己名字和心血的报纸时，我由衷地笑了，深深地体会到：机会总是,交代演讲的具体过程。重点写演讲前

24、的有关内容，对于具体的演讲内容，并没有交代，详略得当。,为有准备的人而设。 感谢那一次演讲，是它让我发现自己的缺点和不足，是它锻炼了我的勇气，积累了我的经验，也让我为了以后的每个目标去努力奋斗。 那一次，我真的很棒。,交代演讲之后的延续：稿子发表。再起高潮。,结尾点题，既是感悟，又是收束，照 应前文，结构圆合。,总评：,这篇文章用细腻的文笔对一次演讲的始末进行了全程刻画，让读者感同身受。演讲前、演讲中、演讲后详略有致，层次分明；写演讲中时，不是平铺直叙，而是巧设波澜，让文章跌宕起伏。文章开头和结尾所采取的议论的表达方式与全文主体所采用的记叙的表达方式互为补充，而且首尾形成照应。文章运用心理描写

25、、动作描写、细节描写等描写方法，增添了文章的魅力。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才

26、路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才

27、路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,我们是一家人 家是圆心，我们都是圆点，爸爸、妈妈和我，我们围着圆心在走，走出一个圆满的家。 清风摇曳梧桐树的小时候 月亮又悄悄爬上了窗外的梧桐树，我偎在床头，该是听妈妈讲故事的时候了，可是妈妈又晚,开篇点题。,文题三例文,独立成段，设置场景，富有意境。,督班去了。妈妈是一名老师，每天兢兢业业，总有忙不完的事情。每次回家，总是带着匆匆的脚步，充斥着紧张的气息，有时怀里还抱着几本厚厚的书。 “妈妈，你不爱我了吗？为什么不在我身边？”我握住妈妈的手，她的手上还有白色的粉笔灰。 “孩子”妈妈哽住了，转过头去，眼里饱含着透明的水珠。她摸了摸我的头，指了

28、指窗外的月亮：“月儿圆的时候，妈妈就会回来。”,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,

29、状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,

30、状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,我蹦蹦跳跳跑到窗前，每个夜晚不停地寻找那圆圆的月亮妈妈回来的希望。在梧桐摇曳，月儿圆圆缺缺的岁月里，充满了等待的苦涩、团聚的欢乐。 星星点缀夜空的回家路 读初中了，有了晚自修。为了节约时间，让我尽快回到家，爸爸担起了开车接送的任务，他推掉很多应酬，每晚准时在校门口等我。熟悉温,写“我”等妈妈回家，叙事清楚。,暖的笑脸、热乎乎的点心，说一说今天的烦恼和趣事那条通往家的路上总是充满温馨与欢乐。 风里飘来槐花的清香，望着车窗外，黑色的天幕中闪动着一颗颗明亮的星星，星星沿着它的轨迹运行，我们沿着家的方向飞驰。 白米粥飘香的寒夜,写爸爸接“我”回家。叙事中

31、穿插写景，情景交融。,今年寒假的最后两天，妈妈旅游要回来了，说好晚上十点到的，不知怎么延迟了，爸爸关好我的房门，叮嘱我早点睡觉，他自己就在餐厅等着。 我在沉沉的梦里听到一些细碎的声音，妈妈回来了？推开房门，果然，门柜边摆满了大包小包的东西。 新春的夜里颇有些寒意，黑暗的夜里，家中餐,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

32、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

33、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,厅里亮着一盏橘红的灯，灯下，有两碗热腾腾的白米粥，桌边是我的爸爸妈妈。 看见我，他们很惊讶，责备我，责备他们自己，但语气里满是开心。爸爸又盛来一碗白米粥，我们一家三口就在寒夜的灯下一人捧一碗白米粥吃起来，笑容像灯光一样温馨。这碗白米粥啊，特别的香甜、,写“我”和爸爸等妈妈，体现一家人的牵挂。,特别的温暖，一直暖到心

34、窝里，因为，里面有爱的味道。 一路走来，日月轮回，春秋变换，我们一直沿着同一个圆点在走，无论风雨，不管苦乐，因为，我们是一家人。,总结全文，照应开头，点名中心。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成

35、才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成

36、才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,总评：,文章分别从“我与妈妈”“我与爸爸”“爸爸妈妈与我”这样三个角度取材，三个生活场景鼎立而成一个相互关爱、理解，相互扶持、关心的“一家人”。结构上采取一线串珠的写法，以家人之间的爱为红线，用“清风摇曳梧桐树的小时候” “星星点缀夜空的回家路”“白米粥飘香的寒夜”三个小句子提示内容层次，按照时间顺序，有序展开，结构清晰，层次分明。,中考真题,（2018湖北孝感）阅读下面的文字，根据要求作文。 同学给我的丝丝情谊，我不曾忘记；师长给我

37、的缕缕关爱，我不曾忘记；书本给我的点点启迪，我不曾忘记；生活给我的滴滴印记，我不曾忘记现在，让我将它们一一拾起。,请以“拾起的_点滴”为题作文。（提示：写作之前先把题目补充完整） 【真题解说】 这是一道半命题作文。首先审读标题，抓住文题中“点滴”二字来考量，指的是一些琐事、小事，不是惊天动地的大事。提示语中已经暗示同学们可以从“同学的丝丝情谊”,“师长的缕缕关爱”“书本的点点启迪”等角度去诠释文题中“点滴”的内容。关键词“拾起”也不应忽视。“拾起”的前提是“丢失”或者“忘记”，也就是事件过程应存在着一个小波折，“拾起”前怎样，“拾起”后又怎样，写作中要交代清楚。很明显，这是一篇回忆性的散文。根据补写的内容不同，可以回忆生活中的小事、趣事、有意义的事等，写出对生活的感悟和思考即可。,