读后续写：节日的真谛 讲义 高三英语三轮冲刺.docx

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1、读后续写：节日的真谛 讲义续写题目阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。It was the late 1930s, and things were tough.Mumhad a hard time raising us on her own in oursmall community of New Westminster, BC. My dad had drowned in Pitt Lake, five years ago.Looking back, I realize what Mum went through sending us kids to school.

2、Every morning she would tuck a new piece ofcardboardin our shoes, because our soles(鞋底)were worn out. When we got home, Mum would have“French toast”ready for us. Constant moving was typical for my family in those times. Rent was 25 dollars a month, but Mum couldnt pay it, and we knew we would be evi

3、cted right after Christmas on the first of January.Christmaswas approaching, and we were entitled to a twenty-five-dollar Christmas fund fromsocial services. The inspector came to our house, and searched it from top to bottom to be sure we didnt have any food hidden away. When he didnt find any, he

4、issued the cheque to Mum. Mumsaid that instead of buying food, she would use the25 dollarsto pay back rent, assuring us all of a roof over our heads for a little while longer. She told us then there would be nothing for Christmas.Unknown to Mum, I had been selling Christmas tree, shoveling snow, and

5、 doing odd jobs to earn enough money to buy a new pair ofboots. Boots that werent patched, boots with no cardboard in the soles. I knew exactly which boots I wanted. They were ten-inch Top Genuine Pierre Paris and they had a price of 23 dollars.Well, the big day came on the afternoon of Christmas Ev

6、e. I was excited, as I hurried up the road to the shoe store, but on the way I noticed a house with Christmas lights anddecorations. It was then I realized at our house, we had no lights, no decorations, nor any money for Christmas goodies. I knew that we would have no turkeyor ham for Christmas, an

7、d I felt sad.Paragraph 1:AsIcontinuedwalking,Ibegantoreconsidermyplan.Paragraph 2:Withgreatexcitementandtearsinmyeyes,Iknockedonthedoor.续写答案Paragraph 1:AsIcontinuedwalking,Ibegantoreconsidermyplan.Before long, the shoe store appeared around the corner. Inside, the boots Id coveted radiated warmth un

8、der the lights. I stood outside for a while, the penetrating cold seeping through my worn out soles. Then, without looking back, I left. Two blocks later, I found myself in a crowded store, shopping for family. On my return, clutching two large bags, I saw a father holding hands with his son. Sudden

9、ly, my vision blurred. It was indeed a bitter day. Luckily, home was only steps away.Paragraph 2:With greatexcitementandtearsinmyeyes,Iknockedonthedoor.“Finally, boy. What took you so long?”, Mums voice came through. As I moved inside with the bags, a stern look climbed onto her face so I quickly ex

10、plained everything except mentioning the boots. Her face melted with every word. Seeing the sparkles in her eyes, I pulled out a string of little lights and suggested, “Shall we, Mum?” She broke into a smile. That night, everybody got busy, running around and putting on decorations. When they all fe

11、ll sleep with a full stomach, I stood by the window and stared down the lightened street. It was indeed a starry night.续写解析下面是我的续写精析Paragraph 1:AsIcontinuedwalking,Ibegantoreconsidermyplan.（首段剧情根据两段提示语决定首尾。第一段提示语“随着我继续往前走，我开始考虑我的计划。”第二段提示语“带着极大的兴奋和眼中的泪水，我敲响了门。”根据两句提示语，首段剧情重点回答三组问题：1. 主角重新考虑计划，计划内容是什

12、么？2. 如何体现主角放弃原计划时的心理挣扎？3. 主角敲响谁的门？眼中为何有眼泪？首先回答第一个问题，计划内容是什么？原文中对此的铺垫, “It was then I realized at our house,we had no lights, no decorations, nor any money for Christmas goodies. I knew that we wouldhave no turkeyor ham for Christmas, and I felt sad.”主角前往鞋店的路上看见路边装饰，不禁想到自家的情状，一时伤心难抑。紧接着他开始重新考虑自己的计划。合

13、理的逻辑推理应当是 主角决定放弃买鞋，转而为自己家和家人们买装饰、食物和礼物。接着第二个问题，主角决定放弃原计划时的心里挣扎如何体现？原文中说，“Unknown to Mum, I had been sellingChristmas tree, shoveling snow, and doing odd jobsto earn enough moneyto buy a new pair of boots.” “Well, the big day came on the afternoon of Christmas Eve.I was excited.”两句话体现出 男孩为了买一双新靴子付出了很

14、多，而且在之前一直盼着能买到他心心念念的鞋。所以做出放弃原计划的决定对他来说一定很不容易。那么，如何勾勒出他内心的挣扎呢？在本篇文章中，我选择了用动作、环境和神态描写去凸显人物的心理，让读者可以从细节中推理出人物的心理变化，增强读者阅读乐趣；同时环境描写和动作描写，又能增强阅读的沉浸感。以此设计避免直接心理描写的单薄逻辑。最后第三组问题，主角敲谁家的门？为什么眼中含泪？敲门的答案应该是很明显的，主角决定给自己家买东西，购物结束带着兴奋，自然敲响的是自己的门。但第二个问题就有很多遐想空间了。一般情况下人的情感变化会触景而发，那么主角是看见了什么呢？事实上，这段剧情有很多种设计可能。我在此处先保留

15、一个悬念。下面进入首段分句精析。）Before long, the shoe store appeared around the corner.（承接上句 “continued walking”. 不一会儿，鞋店就出现在转角处。我在这里没有直接描写主角的心理变化，而是让主角按惯性行事，烘托主角潜意识对那双鞋的渴望，并为下文做铺垫。）Inside, the boots Id coveted radiated warmth under the lights.（“在店面，我梦寐以求的靴子在灯光下散发出温暖。”这句话有三重巧思：1. 剧情上，从鞋店出现在转角，到描写店中情形，环境描写接环境描写，视角衔

16、接流畅。2. covet v. 牛津：(formal) to want sth very much 渴望。这个词的第一重含义，不仅仅是单纯的想要，而是急切的渴望，达到了梦寐以求的地步。“Id coveted” 体现出主角对这双鞋的喜爱程度之深。3. Radiate v. 牛津：if sth radiates heat, light or energy or heat, etc. radiates from it, the heat is sent out in all directions （使热、光、能量）辐射，放射，发散。“Radiated warmth” 直接体现出这双鞋本身的保暖特质，

17、又暗示主角现在穿着“纸片鞋底”的鞋子，在寒冷的冬日有多冷。这种向外放射的温暖与下文的描写构成对比。）I stood outside for a while, the penetrating cold seeping through my worn out soles.（“我在外面站了一会儿，刺骨的寒气从我磨破的鞋底渗了进来。”主角为什么不进去？有时候人的决定就在一闪念。主角不进去，其实是害怕自己不能禁住温暖靴子的诱惑，“penetrating cold seeping through my worn out soles. ” 这句描写也很用心，寒意刺骨，穿透了纸板做的鞋底。与原文相呼应。而在刺

18、骨的冬日依然执着地站在外面，又体现出主角的不舍。主角内心的剧烈挣扎，不需要刻意明说，读者自然体会得到。）Then, without looking back, I left.（接着，主角离开。我可以加了 without looking back的细节，为什么不回头呢？一方面可能是害怕自己回头看到靴子后悔，另一方面也体现出主角所下的决心。这种冲突下的抉择，更显真实和珍贵。）Two blocks later, I found myself in a crowded store, shopping for family.（这句话也有三重巧思。首先，two blocks later， 明明是时间状语，

19、却用距离做限定，此用法和 “the store is 20 minutes away” 用时间限定距离有异曲同工之妙。通过避免单独写时间流逝，而更显新意。其次，i found myself in 这样一写就好像主角不是走进来的一样，其实是为了突出走进商店是主角内心的选择。“鬼使神差地就进去了”。最后， shopping for family 呼应购物铺垫，但又不点明购买的内容，为后文保留了悬念。）On my return, clutching two large bags, I saw a father holding hands with his son. Suddenly, my visi

20、on blurred.（文章行至此处，已经回答了做什么决定，如何体现内心冲突两个问题，但还有一个问题悬而未决。“在回家途中，手中拎着两大袋子的我看到了一个父亲牵着他儿子的手。突然间，我的视线就模糊了。”丰富且合理的细节，读者仿佛亲眼见证主角哭了，其原因呼应原文铺垫。我设计剧情时选择从第一段的一句伏笔出发，“Mydadhaddrownedin Pitt Lake,five years ago.”主角家为什么如此贫困艰难，塌了半边天肯定是其中一部分原因，另一部分原因可能是1930s的经济萧条。而Christmas传统上是一个家人团聚的节日，不论天南海北，大家要在圣诞前夜聚在一起吃一段团圆饭，就像中

21、国的除夕。可主角父亲五年前已在湖中溺亡，那么在这个象征团圆的节日里，他会不会想起那个曾许诺永远让他依靠的肩膀？此处主角的哭泣实属触景伤情。语言上，用vision blurred 而不是 tears welled up in my eyes 一是避免与第二段提示语重复用语，二是延续这段话一直以来的含蓄风格，给读者遐想的空间。）It was indeed a bitter day.（这句环境描写看似无关痛痒，那我为何还要将其放在此处？ 答案在bitter身上。首先，这句话呼应了当天严寒的天气；其次，它呼应了放弃学子后，在寒冷街道上步行如此之久的主角身体感受；最后呼应回家途中看见他人父子携手，而自己

22、孤身一人的苦涩。bitter 的严寒与苦涩于此一语三关。）Luckily, home was only steps away.（但所幸，家就在几步之外。有了上一句极致的冷作对比，家的温暖更得以彰显。首段写作中，视角全程聚焦在主角身上却没有一处overt或over-dramatic的语言，而是让人物的心理变化渗透到角色的一举一动之中。充分让读者享受阅读乐趣。这就是我的写作经济学“无需喧嚣，却足够深情。”至此，第一段和第二段完美衔接。）Paragraph 2:With greatexcitementandtearsinmyeyes,Iknockedonthedoor.“Finally, boy.

23、What took you so long?”, Mums voice came through.（在此处紧承提示语的设计应当是 说明谁开门。常用的表达是Mum answered the door. 或用一个强调句升级一下。但这样的文字太过单薄，几乎没有多余的信息承载力，且十分常见，没有新意。因此我将其舍弃。同样是母亲应门，我选择用 未见其人，先闻其声 的方式，用一句话勾勒出母亲的形象。母亲是什么形象呢？根据原文，母亲一人将多个孩子拉扯大，其艰辛可以想象，苦难也必然造就其坚毅的品格。与此同时，主角为了得到自己想要的靴子，自己努力打工也反映出母亲对孩子的价值观引领。经过一番思考，我决定塑造母亲

24、诚实、坚韧、严厉但慈爱的形象。“Finally, boy. What took you so long?” 这问句听着像是抱怨，但finally隐含的却是母亲的关爱与守候。）As I moved inside with the bags, a stern look climbed onto her face so I quickly explained everything except mentioning the boots.（“当我提着袋子进门时，一副严厉的表情爬到了她的脸上。”人物塑造的一致性通过这个拟人化的无灵主语句描摹的人物神态得以凸显。至于引发神态变化的原因，正是主角手上的都袋子

25、，母亲的心理变化和明察秋毫，一句话显露无疑。与此同时，主角稍一察言观色，便将实情全盘托出，唯独没提靴子，以免让母亲心酸。“爱的流动，无需高语，有时也藏在未说出口的话中。”）Her face melted with every word.（听闻我说的话，她的严厉神情如冰雪消融。又是一句无灵主语句的妙语。）Seeing the sparkles in her eyes, I pulled out a string of little lights and suggested, “Shall we, Mum?” She broke into a smile.（至此第二段五句话的设计，就如同在玩儿壁球

26、，叙事视角不停地在主角和其母亲之间跳转，有时候独立描写，有时则在同一句话中共存，文本的互动性和流动性都完美体现。看着母亲眼中蕴起泪花，主角马上从袋中抽出一串小灯，并提议“我们一起吧，妈妈。”感伤被主角的举动冲淡，拿出的彩灯也拉开了这一家人夜晚的序幕。sparkles in her eyes 清新感人。）That night, everybody got busy, running around and putting on decorations.（文中提到母亲一人养育了多个孩子。这句话串起了故事中所有存在的人物，包括未出场的孩子。“大家都忙活起来，到出跑动，装点自己的家。”上一句的light

27、s，这一句的decorations，都是在呼应原文的，“we had no lights, no decorations, nor any money for Christmas goodies. I knew that we wouldhave no turkeyor ham for Christmas, and I felt sad.”现在还差什么没提到呢？）When they all fell sleep with a full stomach, I stood by the window and stared down the lightened street. It was a st

28、arry night.（故事走到尾声。当所有人都饱餐一顿，进入梦乡后，我起身站在窗前。A full stomach 呼应原文的食物线索，也终于揭晓了主角两个袋子中分别装了什么。这段剧情的设计如同丛林中的面包屑，一点点才揭晓出袋中全貌，又与原文线索完全呼应。对于最后一句，我希望达到三个目的：1. 呼应所有的伏笔，交待每个人的去向；2. 勾勒出主角的心境，暗示他的成长；3. 呼应原文环境，及上文 it was a bitter day的铺垫，营造出一幅静谧、安宁、具有诗意的圣诞夜景。最终我构思了如下画面，“当家人们都吃饱睡着时，我站在窗边，凝视着被彩灯点亮的街道。好一个繁星点点的夜晚。”学科网（北京）股份有限公司