雅思英语高分作文赏析.docx

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1、雅思英语高分作文赏析 今日我想要教给大家的是如何写出一篇高分雅思大作文，一起来看看吧。 范文一、Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective? (一)、写作结构剖析 There is no doubt that traffic and pollution from v

2、ehicles have become huge problems, both in cities and on motorways everywhere. (I think that) Solving these problems is likely to need more than a simple rise in the price of petrol. 首段就是改写题目 + 个人观点。虽然没有用 I think / my view is that 表明个人观点，more than 却能紧扣主题：不能仅仅通过提升油价改善交通和环境。 While it is undeniable tha

3、t private car use is one of the main causes of the increase in traffic and pollution, higher fuel costs are unlikely to limit the number of drivers for long. (说明缘由) As this policy would also affect the cost of public transport, it would be very unpopular with everyone who needs to travel on the road

4、s. But there are various other measures that could be implemented that would have a huge effect on these problems. 对于含有肯定词的题目，通常的论证逻辑是认同题目给出的方法是合理或有效的，再提出更有效的措施反对题目的 the best way (比如: 主体段3)。 主体段1 的论证逻辑是干脆反对题目中的观点 (好也是坏，事情有两面性)，括号内是为了帮助大家理解文章结构而后添加的，如下解析： 虽然私家车的运用是导致交通堵塞和环境污染的主要缘由之一，(提升油价能够在肯定程度上削减私家

5、车的运用)，但是也会提升公共交通出行的成本。(因此，提升油价不是一个最好的方法) I think to tackle the problem of pollution, cleaner fuels need to be developed. (This is because) The technology is already available to produce electric cars that would be both quieter and cleaner to use. (Therefore) Persuading manufacturers and travellers t

6、o adopt this new technology would be a more effective strategy for improving air quality, especially in cities. (提出解决措施: 对应题目第2个问号) 考官范文段落拓展逻辑清楚可见：主旨句(提出更有效的解决措施) + 说明 / 举例子(新能源汽车) + 段内总结 However, traffic congestion will not be solved by changing the type of private vehicle people can use. To do thi

7、s, we need to improve the choice of public transport services available to travellers. For example, if sufficient sky trains and underground train systems were built and effectively maintained in our major cities, then traffic on the roads would be dramatically reduced. Long-distance train and coach

8、 services should be made attractive and affordable alternatives to driving your own car for long journeys. (二)、驳论段写作逻辑：提出反方观点(可省略) + 反对题目观点 + 解决措施 驳论段中究竟如何反对? 我们通常给出“解决方法”或“坏也是好”或“新理由”进行反对，下面例子帮助理解： 1. Admittedly，A事物也有不好 (苹果手机价格太贵)。However，反对A事物的不好 (解决方法：年轻人可以通过做兼职或省下平常的零用钱来买这部手机)。 2. Admittedly，A事物

9、也有不好 (苹果手机价格太贵)。However，反对A事物的不好 (坏也是好：正是因为贵，年轻人在运用的时候才会特殊在意，从而延长了手机的运用寿命)。 3. Admittedly，A事物也有不好 (苹果手机价格太贵)。However，反对A事物的不好 (新理由：苹果手机很少出现故障，所以贵点也值得)。 In conclusion, I think that long-term traffic and pollution reductions would depend on educating the public to use public transport more, and on gov

10、ernments using public money to construct and run efficient systems. 总结：教化是解决一切问题的根本途径 范文二、Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). T

11、o what extent do you agree or disagree? 先思索一个问题：题目中括弧中的内容是否须要论证? (一)、写作结构剖析 It has been suggested that high school students should be involved in unpaid community services as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Most of the colleges are already providing opportunities to gain work experience

12、, however these are not compulsory. In my opinion, sending students to work in communities services is a good idea as it can provide them with many lots of valuable skills. 首段第一句改写题目，其次句看似也是改写，但前半句更像是引入背景。第三句是给出个人观点：同意做免费社区服务对学生有好处，运用了 as 引导缘由状语从句概括了好在哪里。 Life skills are very important and by doing

13、voluntary work, students can learn how to communicate with others and work in a team but also how to manage their time and improve their organizational skills. Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not have many after-school activities. After-school clubs are no longer that popular and students most

14、ly go home and sit in front of the TV, browse internet or play video games. 上面段落中，第1句说明生活技能很重要，并进行了说明 (沟通，合作 ，管理实践，提升组织实力);第2句运用了对比论证 (现在的年轻人很少有课外活动 after-school activities) ，目的就是首尾呼应，证明生活技能很重要。 By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organisations, they will be encour

15、aged to do something more creative (个人认为此句跟下一句的内容关联性不大). Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an asset on their CV but also increase their employability. Students will also gain more respect towards work and money as they will realize that it is not that easy to earn them and hopef

16、ully will learn to spend them in a more practical way. 上面段落中，第1句和第2句关联性，我个人更倾向于修改成：By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organisations, students may increase their employability, earn a higher salary and make more contribution to the society. 本段主要说明强制性社区服务可以提高就业率。 He

17、althy life balance and exercise are strongly promoted by the NHS, and therefore any kind of spare time charity work will prevent from sitting and doing nothing. It could also possibly reduce the crime level in the high school age group. If students have activities to do, they will not to be bored an

18、d come up with silly ideas which can be dangerous for them or their surroundings. 最终一句运用了 If 条件句正向论证，假如有事可干，年轻人就不太会做作奸犯科的事情。大家在写作时也可以 If 进行反向假设论证：假如不这样做，会导致什么后果。 In conclusion, I think this is a very good idea, and I hope this programme will be put into action for high schools’ colleges shortly. 读完文章后，我们会发觉题目中括弧的内容不须要在文章论证，因为这是考官为了让大家更清楚的理解题意而进行的举例。 本文来源：网络收集与整理，如有侵权，请联系作者删除，谢谢！第8页 共8页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页第 8 页 共 8 页