(精品)作文评析与亮点的构建.ppt

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1、Nathan ZhangNathan ZhangAssessments of your Assessments of your composition&polish it upcomposition&polish it up“书面表达”命题依据及原则依据教育部课程标准、全国统一考试大纲（课程标准实验版）、浙江省高中英语新课程学科教学指导意见2011考试说明：考生应能（1）清楚连贯地传达信息，表达意思；（2）有效运用所学语言知识。根据提示，用英语写一篇100120个词的短文。话题（主题）：跟高中学生学习生活有关的，或是他们关心的，但热点问题的可能性仍较小。写作任务：有意义的，或者实用的（能解决实

2、际问题的）语言知识：高中所学词汇、语法项目、语篇知识（写作方法）五个步骤1、审题、审题文字信息文字信息图画信息图画信息题材、人称、时态、要点题材、人称、时态、要点2、以词及点：用一两个单词或短语写出每句、以词及点：用一两个单词或短语写出每句 话的细节要点。话的细节要点。3、联词成句：用联词成句的方法将上述要点、联词成句：用联词成句的方法将上述要点 的词语扩展成句子。的词语扩展成句子。4、联句成文：、联句成文：注意：注意：主语和谓语主语和谓语背景（适当增加时间、地点条件等）背景（适当增加时间、地点条件等）逻辑关系逻辑关系开头与结尾开头与结尾语篇衔接语篇衔接5、检查修改，规范抄写、检查修改，规范抄

3、写高分作文29分思维习惯较好阅卷老师的建议：阅卷老师的建议：字迹工整字迹工整 检查，再检查检查，再检查 慎用套词慎用套词 语言朴实语言朴实 结构清晰结构清晰 切题、有逻辑切题、有逻辑长度长度适中适中 文体标准文体标准无忧无忧PPTPPT整理发布整理发布万人迷书写万人迷书写假如你班要就假如你班要就“如何为高考做准备如何为高考做准备”开一个班会，请根据以下内开一个班会，请根据以下内容写一篇发言稿，谈谈你对高考备考过程中要注意的事项及建议容写一篇发言稿，谈谈你对高考备考过程中要注意的事项及建议理由：理由：1.1.保持良好的心态有助于减轻焦虑，还能增强克服困难的保持良好的心态有助于减轻焦虑，还能增强克

4、服困难的勇气；勇气；2.2.目标明确、正确评价自己。太低的目标使人松懈，太高目标明确、正确评价自己。太低的目标使人松懈，太高的目标使人丧失信心；的目标使人丧失信心；3.3.与父母、老师或同学沟通帮忙走出困境；与父母、老师或同学沟通帮忙走出困境；4.4.作息合理，饮食均衡，以保持旺盛的精力。作息合理，饮食均衡，以保持旺盛的精力。注意：注意：1 1词数词数100100左右，开头已为你写好左右，开头已为你写好(不计入总词数不计入总词数)；2 2可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。3.3.参考词汇：明确的参考词汇：明确的(definite)(definite)评价（评价（est

5、imationestimation）审审 题题1 1、体裁：发言稿，、体裁：发言稿，谈谈高考备考过程中注谈谈高考备考过程中注意事项及理由。为议论文体意事项及理由。为议论文体2 2、主要时态：一般现在时，发表自己、主要时态：一般现在时，发表自己的看法的看法-要点要点3 3、人称：第一人称、人称：第一人称 we we 较贴近学生实际较贴近学生实际4 4、要点：所给的四项务必包括进去，并适当的、要点：所给的四项务必包括进去，并适当的发表自己的看法。文章的结构发表自己的看法。文章的结构-总分总总分总-3-3段式较好。段式较好。字字词词文文词：have a right attitude a normal

6、 state of mind 句：itsveryimportanttohavearightattitude Anormalstateofmindandself-confidencehelpsustorelax文：First,itsveryimportanttohavearightattitude,foranormalstateofmindandself-confidencenotonlyhelpsustorelaxbutalsoenablesustoovercomedifficultiesbravely.无忧无忧PPTPPT整理发布整理发布Appreciation Appreciation K

7、eeping a good psychology is the first and most important step to make great progress.When it comes to aims,a definite one and a proper estimation of yourself work better A small step makes a big difference.Dont forget you are not alone.Your teacher or classmates and even you parents can help you to

8、deal with your problems.So there is a growing concern for how to make preparations for it.My suggestions are as follows.Adopting an optimistic attitude is beneficial to lightening your anxiety and encouraging you to overcome difficulties.As is often the case,too low goals make everyone lessaggressiv

9、e.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.(肖肖君君)(徐乐平徐乐平)分芳分芳岳平岳平无忧无忧PPTPPT整理发布整理发布Appreciation Appreciation Only if we prepare properly for the examination can we succeed in the end.To speak frankly,there is a need for us to set a clear goal objectively and assess ourselves properly.First,always

10、keep a good state of mind in life,which helps you not only reduce nervousness but also build up your courage of overcoming problems.In a word,study is a process of trial.(梦露梦露)(林婷婷林婷婷1)小雨小雨方芳方芳无忧无忧PPTPPT整理发布整理发布Appreciation Appreciation As a saying goes,“Godnevershutsonedoorbutheopensanother.天无绝人之路。

11、天无绝人之路。.”Always having wishes can make us strong-willed.Health is to our bodies what water is to fish.Having a balanced diet counts a lot.In addition,there is no denying that you can break away from trouble if your are under the loving care of your parents,teachers or classmates.It is apparent that

12、only in this way can you have little anxiety an well as strengthen bravery to get over difficulties.As a proverb goes:“A merry heart goes all the way.”心情愉快，事事顺心 What we need to care about is that we should establish a definite goal.(小芬小芬)(丽芳丽芳)连杰连杰Studentsversion-许丹妮许丹妮However,the path to college ma

13、y not be smooth.So we should try our best to do something best in order to welcome the National College Entrance Examination.There goes a saying that more haste,less speed.Therefore,wed better to keep a positive attitude.Not only can we calm down,but also we will get courage to overcome difficulties

14、.In other words,we will believe there are many promising avenues to pursue.无忧无忧PPTPPT整理发布整理发布 Whats the most important to us is that we have a definite goal and have a correct estimation about ourselves.Too low a goal will make us slack and too high will make us lose heart.Besides,its advisable to t

15、alk more with others,like parents,teachers,classmates and so on,which will help us get through difficulties.Needless to say,we need a good rest and a balanced diet to keep us energetic.Come on!Everyone!Challenges and pressures can bring out us the best.Hope everyone will have a wonderful grade in th

16、e coming summer.Power Bar中国专业PPT设计交流论坛Yet what should we do in order to achieve success?Here are some suggestions.First,its very important to have a right attitude,for a normal state of mind and self-confidence not only helps us to relax but also enables us to overcome difficulties bravely.Meanwhile

17、,we should have a definite goal and a correct estimation of ourselves.Only in this way will we not be easily pleased or disappointed with what we have known and done.Besides,wed better sometimes talk with our parents,teachers or classmates,who may help us out when were in trouble.Finally,striking a

18、proper balance between study and rest keeps us energetic and a healthy diet is useful as well.With these done,I think we can greatly improve our performance.Power Bar中国专业PPT设计交流论坛achievesuccesskeepanormalstateofmindovercomedifficultieshaveacorrectestimationofourselves-正确的评价自己正确的评价自己strikingaproperba

19、lancebetweenstudyandrest-劳逸结合劳逸结合 keepsusenergeticahealthydietimproveourperformance-提高我们的效益提高我们的效益 范文中的好词句范文中的好词句书面表达在评阅时书面表达在评阅时遵循三原则遵循三原则语言第一位（语言高级）语言第一位（语言高级）内容第二位（要点齐全）内容第二位（要点齐全）结构第三位（文章分段）结构第三位（文章分段）一、高级词汇和语法一、高级词汇和语法二、修辞手法二、修辞手法三、有效的连词三、有效的连词四、名人名言或谚语四、名人名言或谚语语言第一位（语言高级）语言第一位（语言高级）龙头；猪肚；凤尾。龙头

20、；猪肚；凤尾。还要强化还要强化“高级、复杂高级、复杂”两个概念两个概念 1、词组优先原则、词组优先原则2、地道原则、地道原则3、避免重复原则、避免重复原则4、后、后、高高、长原则长原则后学到、较高级、较长词汇。后学到、较高级、较长词汇。四四项项原原则则1、词组优先原则、词组优先原则原文A new railway is being built in my hometown.修正A new railway is under construction in my hometown.2、地道原则、地道原则原文Through traveling,I learned a lot of knowledge.

21、修正Through traveling,I gainedobtained a lot of knowledge.一、一、肯定不如双否好肯定不如双否好二、二、陈述不如倒装妙陈述不如倒装妙三、三、主动不如被动巧主动不如被动巧四、从句不如分词傲四、从句不如分词傲要强化要强化“语法、修辞语法、修辞”两个概念两个概念 修辞的使用在书面表达中算作很大的亮点，在高中阶段很少有学生会修辞的使用在书面表达中算作很大的亮点，在高中阶段很少有学生会注重修辞的应用。双重否定也是种修辞，而且对于考生来说，只要稍加注重修辞的应用。双重否定也是种修辞，而且对于考生来说，只要稍加注意，可以在文章中设计双重否定的句子。就变成了

22、亮点句，起到强调注意，可以在文章中设计双重否定的句子。就变成了亮点句，起到强调作用。作用。一、肯定不如双否好一、肯定不如双否好Thepostmancomesontimeeveryday.Thepostmanneverfailstocomeontime.1.He came here at 5 p.m.yesterday.(一般句式)2.He did not come here until 5 p.m.yesterday.I couldnt have made so much progress in English without his help.I have made great progre

23、ss in English with his help.倒装是一种最简单易行的使句子呈现亮点的方法。在高中阶段倒装是一种最简单易行的使句子呈现亮点的方法。在高中阶段只需掌握倒装的四种形式，足以应对书面表达，如何应用倒装，只需掌握倒装的四种形式，足以应对书面表达，如何应用倒装，有很多方法和技巧。有很多方法和技巧。1.Onlywhenwerealizetheimportanceofenvironmentalprotectioncanwesolvetheproblemofpollution.2.Sopreciousistimethatwecantaffordtowasteit.3.Diligenta

24、shewas,hefailedinpassingtheexam.4.Bynomeansshouldteenagersgetintothehabitofsmoking.二、陈述不如倒装妙二、陈述不如倒装妙NeverbeforehaveIseensuchawonderfulfilm.Iwillnevermarryyou.NeverwillImarryyou.1.否定词开头：否定词开头：2.Not until/till 5 pm.did he come here yesterday.3.It was not until/till 5 pm.that he came here yesterday.1.

25、Hedidntcomehereuntil5pm.yesterday.把地点状语放在句首后面主谓倒装。这样做的好处之一是把地点状语放在句首后面主谓倒装。这样做的好处之一是倒装本身就是高级结倒装本身就是高级结构构，第二是第二是倒装后把真正的主语放到了句子的末尾，后面还可以继续加从句倒装后把真正的主语放到了句子的末尾，后面还可以继续加从句，使整个句子再呈现更多的亮点使整个句子再呈现更多的亮点。Inthecenterofourschoolliesourlibrary，whichisbetweenthegardenandtheteachingbuilding.2.地点状语开头地点状语开头Ourlibra

26、ryisinthecenterofourschool.Inthecenterofourschoolliesourlibrary.Onthebankstandsomeflowers.Intheskyhanglittlestars.Onlyinthiswaycanweachieveourgoal.3.Only+介词短语：介词短语：OnlyinthiswaycanIimprovemyEnglishOnlybytakingexercisescanwekeephealthy4.形容词形容词+as+主语主语+be动词：动词：1.YoungasIam,Icanmanageit2.Richasourcount

27、ryis,wehavealotofproblems3.Badlyinjuredashewas,hemanagedtotakedownthecarsnumber.4.SogladamItohearfromyou.三、主动不如被动巧三、主动不如被动巧英语是一门英语是一门客观的语言客观的语言，而汉语是，而汉语是主观的语言主观的语言，具体体现在具体体现在英语中经常用被动语态，汉语经常用英语中经常用被动语态，汉语经常用主动语态主动语态；英语中经常用是事物或形式主语开头，英语中经常用是事物或形式主语开头，强调一件事发生在什么人身上，而汉语经常用人强调一件事发生在什么人身上，而汉语经常用人称开头强调一个人发

28、生了什么事称开头强调一个人发生了什么事。所以使用被动所以使用被动语态符合英语的习惯，如果能将整个文章中语态符合英语的习惯，如果能将整个文章中两个两个句子句子变成被动语态，就会呈现句型的变化，使整变成被动语态，就会呈现句型的变化，使整篇文章句型丰富。篇文章句型丰富。例如在例如在2006年的高考中，很多学生在表达我们每次可年的高考中，很多学生在表达我们每次可以借五本书最多借十天时：以借五本书最多借十天时：Wecanborrowfivebooksatmost,andwecankeepthemfortendays.Atmostfivebookscanbeborrowedatatimeandtheyca

29、nbekeptfortendays.哪种表达法分数会更高？哪种表达法分数会更高？几乎所有的状语从句都可以变成独立主格或分词结构，几乎所有的状语从句都可以变成独立主格或分词结构，时间状语从句，原因状语，条件状语等。例如条件状语时间状语从句，原因状语，条件状语等。例如条件状语从句：从句：Ifsuchisthecase,youshouldapologizetoher.如何变成独立主格或分词结构呢？学会下面的口诀，如何变成独立主格或分词结构呢？学会下面的口诀，如果你的作文中有状语从句，马上可改成独立主格或分如果你的作文中有状语从句，马上可改成独立主格或分词结构这个最大的亮点。词结构这个最大的亮点。四、

30、从句不如分词傲四、从句不如分词傲口诀：一去，二看，三改。口诀：一去，二看，三改。一去：去连词；二看：看主语；三改：改分词。一去：去连词；二看：看主语；三改：改分词。第一步，去掉连词第一步，去掉连词ifif；If such is the case,you should apologize to her.第二步，看前后两句话的主语，前后主语不一致，第二步，看前后两句话的主语，前后主语不一致，所以要所以要改成独立主格；改成独立主格；第三步，改分词，第三步，改分词，is is 变成分词是变成分词是beingbeing最后变成 Such being the case,you should apologi

31、ze to her如果前后两句话主语一致，就变成分词结构。如果前后两句话主语一致，就变成分词结构。原文原文Theyoungmancouldnthelpcryingwhenheheardthebadnews.修正修正Hearingthebadnews,theyoungmancouldnthelpcrying.原文原文 Ifeverythingistakenintoconsideration,weoughttohaveanotherchance.修正修正Everythingtakenintoconsideration,weoughttohaveanotherchance.Practice make

32、s perfect!一、词与词之间的转换一、词与词之间的转换1.形容词转换为名词形容词转换为名词Thispaintingisveryvaluable.2.动词转换为名词动词转换为名词Ourhometownhaschangedalottheseyears.二、词与从句的转换二、词与从句的转换Ashewastiredandhungry,theboywasunwillingtomoveon.Thispaintingisofgreatvalue.Greatchangeshavetakenplaceinmyhometowntheseyears.Tiredandhungry,theboywasunwill

33、ingtomoveon.三、非谓语动词与从句之间的转换三、非谓语动词与从句之间的转换1.动名词和从句的转换动名词和从句的转换Whenhearrives,pleasegivemeane-mail.2.分词和从句的转换分词和从句的转换(1)现在分词与从句的转换现在分词与从句的转换Ashewaslyinginthegrass,hethoughtofhisparentslivinginthecountryside.(2)过去分词与从句的转换过去分词与从句的转换Onceitisseen,itwillneverbeforgotten.Onhearinghisarrival,pleasegivemeane-

34、mail.Lyinginthegrass,hethoughtofhisparentslivinginthecountryside.Onceseen,itwillneverbeforgotten.3.不定式与从句的转换不定式与从句的转换Hespokeloudersothattheaudiencecouldhearhimclearly.四、独立主格与从句的转换四、独立主格与从句的转换（1）Ifweatherpermits,weshallgothereonfoot.Tomakehimselfheardclearly,hespokelouder.Weatherpermitting,weshallgot

35、hereonfoot.（逻辑主语（逻辑主语+现在分词）现在分词）（2）Ifeverythingisconsidered,hisplanseemstobemoreworkable.Whenthiswasdone,wewenthome.Givengoodluck,Iwillearnmoremoneythanallofyou.（3）Becausetherewasnothingtodo,weplayedgames.Everythingtakenintoconsideration,hisplanseemstobemoreworkable.（逻辑主语（逻辑主语+过去分词）过去分词）Thisdone,wew

36、enthome.Goodluckgiven,Iwillearnmoremoneythanallofyou.Therebeingnothingtodo,weplayedgames.(being不可省略不可省略)五、句与句之间的转换五、句与句之间的转换1.简单句与复合句的转换简单句与复合句的转换Thegirlisspokenhighlyof.Hercompositionwaswellwritten.2.一般句式与强调句的转换一般句式与强调句的转换Igraduatedfromtheuniversitylastsummer.Thegirlwhosecompositionwaswellwrittenis

37、spokenhighlyof.ItwaslastsummerthatIgraduatedfromtheuniversity.3.条件句与祈使句的转换条件句与祈使句的转换Ifyougothroughthegate,youwillfindtheentrancetoBearCountry.4.宾语从句与状语从句的转换宾语从句与状语从句的转换Iwontbelievewhathesays.Gothroughthegate,andyouwillfindtheentrancetoBearCountry.Nomatterwhathesays,Iwontbelievehim.六、六、“二态二态”之间的转换之间的

38、转换1.时态的转换时态的转换Thebellisringingnow.2.主动语态变为被动语态主动语态变为被动语态Peoplesuggestedthatthemeetingbeputoff.七、其他形式的转换七、其他形式的转换1.正常语序与倒装语序的转换正常语序与倒装语序的转换ThoughImweakIwillmaketheeffort.TheywillnevergiveupthestruggleforsuccessTheregoesthebell.Itissuggestedthatthemeetingbeputoff.WeakasIam,Iwillmaketheeffort.Neverwill

39、theygiveupthestruggleforsuccess.2.陈述语气与虚拟语气的转换陈述语气与虚拟语气的转换Theshipdidntsinkwithallonboardbecausethereweretheeffortsofthecaptain.Butfortheeffortsofthecaptain,theshipwouldhavesunkwithallonboard.第二步：确定主干的相关词汇第二步：确定主干的相关词汇第三步：翻译句子主干第三步：翻译句子主干第四步：添加修饰成分第四步：添加修饰成分 第一步：找出句子主干第一步：找出句子主干 例句：例句：害怕挨骂，那个淘气的男孩没害怕

40、挨骂，那个淘气的男孩没关水龙头就跑了。关水龙头就跑了。第一步：找出句子主干第一步：找出句子主干 男孩男孩跑了跑了 第二步：确定主干的相关词汇第二步：确定主干的相关词汇 害怕挨骂，那个淘气的害怕挨骂，那个淘气的男孩男孩没关水龙没关水龙头就头就跑了跑了。boy,runaway第三步：翻译句子主干第三步：翻译句子主干害怕挨骂，那个淘气的害怕挨骂，那个淘气的男孩男孩没关水龙没关水龙头就头就跑了跑了。Theboyranaway.考虑：考虑：时态时态 语态语态第四步：添加修饰成分第四步：添加修饰成分Thenaughtyboyranaway.Thenaughtyboyranawaywithoutturnin

41、goffthewater.Afraidofbeingscolded,thenaughtyboyranawaywithoutturningoffthewater.害怕挨骂，那个淘气的害怕挨骂，那个淘气的男孩男孩没关没关水龙头就水龙头就跑了跑了。练习一：练习一：穿红色羊毛衫的女孩是我们班长。穿红色羊毛衫的女孩是我们班长。Onepossiblesentence:Thegirldressedinaredsweaterisourmonitor.女孩女孩是 班长班长 练习二：北京是中国的首都，有北京是中国的首都，有3000多年的悠久历史。多年的悠久历史。BeijingisthecapitalcityofC

42、hinawithalonghistoryofover3,000years.Beijing,thecapitalcityofChina,hasalonghistoryofover3,000years.BeijingisthecapitalcityofChinaandhasalonghistoryofover3,000years.高考的书面表达重在设计，如何设高考的书面表达重在设计，如何设计出让阅卷老师看了眼前一亮的句计出让阅卷老师看了眼前一亮的句子，写出有分词，倒装，强调，修子，写出有分词，倒装，强调，修辞的句子，使整篇文章句型丰富，辞的句子，使整篇文章句型丰富，不单一，有效的使用连接成分使文不

43、单一，有效的使用连接成分使文章连贯，方能在高考中拿到高分。章连贯，方能在高考中拿到高分。誊写核对措辞时态誊写核对措辞时态 标点符号准确到位标点符号准确到位每天练笔熟悉句型每天练笔熟悉句型 名句谚语铭记心上名句谚语铭记心上注重一词多义形式注重一词多义形式 英汉互译强化记忆英汉互译强化记忆限时练笔提炼思路限时练笔提炼思路 平时演练实战见效平时演练实战见效 写作要领清晰明了写作要领清晰明了 有形无形写作概念有形无形写作概念细细审读要求题示细细审读要求题示 拟好提纲排列顺序拟好提纲排列顺序思路清晰分段陈述思路清晰分段陈述 草稿写作认真细心草稿写作认真细心第一步：仔细阅读写作要求，确定写作要点；第一步：

44、仔细阅读写作要求，确定写作要点；基础写作步骤：第三步：依据句式结构要求，巧妙整合各句。第三步：依据句式结构要求，巧妙整合各句。第二步：认真拟好写作顺序，先写出简单句；第二步：认真拟好写作顺序，先写出简单句；Tom is an American student.He comes from Los Angeles.He studies at a university in China.He is interested in the cultures of Eastern Asia.Tom,an American student,who comes from Los Angeles,studies

45、at a university in China because he is interested in the cultures of Eastern Asia.实例一 通知通知新光中学高三年级学生将于新光中学高三年级学生将于1010月月1919日去体检。日去体检。1.1.体检地点：第一人民医院体检地点：第一人民医院2.2.体检日期：体检日期：1010月月1919日，星期三日，星期三注意：注意：1.7:451.7:45在医院门口集合，可以骑车或步行前往在医院门口集合，可以骑车或步行前往2.2.体检前空腹体检前空腹3.3.在医院保持安静，听从医生和护士的安排。在医院保持安静，听从医生和护士的安

46、排。1.The students of Senior three in Xinguang Middle School are going to have their physical check-up.2.The physical examination is held in the 1st Peoples Hospital on Wednesday,19th October.3.The students should meet at the gate of the hospital at 7:45 a.m.4.You can go there by bicycle or on foot.5.

47、Youre not allowed to have anything before the check-up that morning.6.You must keep quiet in the hospital.7.You should follow the doctors and nurses there.NOTICE All the students of Senior 3 in Xinguang Middle School will have a physical check-up in the 1st Peoples Hospital.The physical check-up wil

48、l be held on Wednesday,19th October.All the students must meet at the gate of the hospital,getting there by bicycle or on foot.You are not allowed to have anything before the check-up.And by the way,you should keep quiet there waiting for the check-up and follow the doctors and the nurses，please.78

49、words看图作文的写作方法看图作文的写作方法1.以一图两为的方式进行写作以一图两为的方式进行写作2.巧用连词的前后呼应巧用连词的前后呼应3.叙述事件过程用过去时，叙述事件过程用过去时，谈论自身看法用现在时谈论自身看法用现在时1.1.以时间为主线以时间为主线2.2.以动作顺序为写作主线以动作顺序为写作主线3.3.也可夹叙夹议的方式也可夹叙夹议的方式4.4.一种时态为主，多为过去时一种时态为主，多为过去时记叙文的写作方法：记叙文的写作方法：图表题示写作方法图表题示写作方法1.不同观点分开写，最好分段写不同观点分开写，最好分段写2.注意连词褒贬搭配，语气恰到好处注意连词褒贬搭配，语气恰到好处3.首

50、段提出事由论点，主体两段摆论首段提出事由论点，主体两段摆论据，叙述理由；据，叙述理由；4.尾段必须陈述自己的观点；尾段必须陈述自己的观点；5.巧用成语重意义匹配，分数要上档次巧用成语重意义匹配，分数要上档次英语成语与谚语英语成语与谚语Romanisnotbuiltoneday.WheninRome,doasRomansdo.Dontcountyoureggsbeforetheyarehatched.Nevercryoverthesplitmilk.Thereretworabbitsfightingeachotherinyourheart.Helookslikeacatonahotbrick.O