2024年读后续写沉浸式步步写作专题11如何优化基础描写.docx

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1、专题11 如何优化基础描写一、语言描写“语言描写”在读后续写中是极为常见的，几乎每一篇文章都可能遇到。但在语言描写中，学生常使用，She said that, 或he told 等类贫乏且单调的语言。在不增加从句的情况下，续写的对话可以尝试增加修饰加副词 ；介词短语with与 情绪名词 ；介词短语in a tone或 in 情绪名词，使语言描写突出情感态度，更生动、更形象。对话标签的三个位置【她说，“我想和你一起去，但我还没有完成家庭作业。”】1.对话标签在前She said,“I would like to go with you, but I havent finished my home

2、work.”2.对话标签在后“I would like to go with you, but I havent finished my homework.”She said.3.对话标签在句子中间“I would like to go with you,”she said, “but I havent finished my homework.”各种各样的说【第1类：轻声说】whisper（低声说出) 常指耳语、窃窃私语。 murmur/Mutter (喃喃自语) 多指别人不易听到的低语。gossip 小声地悄悄地传开,八卦 moan/complain/grumble抱怨着说mumble/g

3、runt咕哝comfort 安慰说【第2类：大声说】call 喊叫 cry 叫喊shout 呼喊 scream惊吓地尖叫yell 喊叫着说 roar 咆哮growl 低沉的怒吼 exclaim 惊叫【第3类：建议说】advise/propose/suggest/offer/recommend建议 argue认为 caution/warn 警告 【第4类：权威说】announce/declare宣布 claim/state声称 order命令【第5类：问与答】ask / inquire/ enquire 询问 reply/answer/respond 回答【第6类：结巴地说】stammer/st

4、utter/stumble 结结巴巴地说【第7类：其他“说”】add补充说道= continue继续说道；retort反驳道；explain解释道；state陈述道；protest抗议道；sob哭诉道；agree同意地说；comfort安慰道；promise承诺道；assure保证道；insist坚持说；repeat v. 重复地说；gasp 气喘吁吁地说；chorus 齐声说；groan 呻吟着说如何让对话更生动【第1类：“,”sb said in a voice/tone.某人以的声音、 语气说到】in a pleasant tone/voice 以一种愉悦的声音/语气in a firm

5、tone/voice以一种坚定的声音/语气in a rude tone/voice以一种粗鲁的声音/语气in a sad tone/voice 以一种悲伤的声音/语气in a tone/voice of surprise 用一种惊讶的语气in a tone/voice of curiosity 用一种好奇的语气in a tone/voice of impatience 用一种不耐烦的语气in a tone/voice of command用一种命令的语气1.“你一定是安妮吧?”他用友好的语气说。“You must be Annie,”he said in a friendly tone.2.“

6、我很乐意。”艾米莉用愉快的语气说。“I would love to.”said Emily in a pleasant tone.3.“我不想和你一起去。”艾米丽用不耐烦的语气说。“I dont want to go with you.”said Emily in a tone of impatience.4.“不，我没有告诉他这个秘密。”他用低沉的语调说.“No, I didnt tell him the secret.”he said in a low tone.【第2类：“xxx,”sb said in/with+心情类名词.某人以的心情说道】1.“You are safe,”Tom c

7、ried with excitement.“你安全啦！”Tom激动地说道。2.“I hate you!”she screamed in anger.“我讨厌你！”她生气地大喊道。3.“What a lovely rabbit,”I said in astonishment.“好可爱的兔子啊！”我诧异地说到。4.“Nice to meet you,”he said with enthusiasm.“很高兴认识你。”他热情地说。【第3类：“xxx,”sb said +adv.+doing.(添加非谓语动词表达后续动作)】1.“我去给我们拿点咖啡。”她温柔地说道，朝厨房走去。“Ill get us

8、some coffee,” she said gently, heading for the kitchen.2.“我再也不相信你了。”他生气地大喊道，砰的一声关上门。“I dont believe you anymore.”He yelled angrily, slamming the door.3.“我被狼袭击了，我以为再也见不到你了。”麦克激动地说，紧紧抱住他们。“I was attacked by a wolf and I thought I would never see you again.”Mike said excitedly.hugging them tightly.【第4类

9、：sb did sth.did sth and said“xxx.” (添加动作链)】1.他拦下出租车， 提着行李箱跳上车， 对司机说： 请去警察局。He stopped the taxi, jumped in with the suitcase and told the driver.“Go to the police station,please.”2.她冲上前去，跪在地上，喃喃地说：“对不起，我的宝贝。”She dashed forward.knelt down and murmured, Im sorry, my baby.”3.我匆忙穿上衣服，拿起包说：“请等一下我！”I put o

10、n my clothes hurriedly, grabbed my bag and said.Please wait for me!二、动作描写在读后续写中，我们需要大量的动作描写，这时候我们可以利用动作链来展示人物动作。使用动作链可以增强故事的连贯性和可读性。通过描述人物或事物的连续动作，读者能够更清晰地想象故事中发生的情节，感受到时间的流逝和事件的发展。动作链有助于创造生动的画面，使读者更深入地融入故事中，形成更加真实和有趣的阅读体验。与手、拳相关描述【名词】hand手； fist拳头；【动词】tap/pat轻拍； pound/punch 猛击； stroke轻抚； seize/gras

11、p/grab抓【词组】hand in hand手拉着手；in hand在手头；在控制中； raise ones hand举起手来； put/hold ones head in ones hands双手抱头； raise out ones hand伸出手； take ones hand握住手； grab ones hand抓起手；pat ones hand轻拍某人的手； smack a fist打拳； swing ones fist挥动拳头； slap ones palm用手拍击； spread ones hands摊开双手； rub ones hands搓着手； hold out/reach

12、out a hand伸出一只手；cup ones hands over sth用双手捂住； wave ones hand crazily/madly/wildly拼命挥手； slide ones hands into将手插进； hold/catch/take/seize ones hand握住/抓住/拉起/抓住某人的手；1. I saw them making their way, hand in hand, down the path. 我看到他们手拉手沿着小路朝前走。2. She held up her hand stiffly. 她僵硬地举起手来。3. He kept pumping m

13、y hand up up and down. 他不停地摇动着我的手。4. She ran at Jim, her fists flying. 她挥舞着拳头朝他跑去。5. He swung his fists wildly at the mans head. 他朝那人的头疯狂地挥动拳头。6. I cupped my hand over the phone so they couldnt hear me.我用手捂住电话，免得他们听到我的话。7. He reached for her hand and held it tightly.他伸手抓住她的手并紧紧握住。8. They walked alon

14、g, holding hands.他们手拉手并肩走着。9. She smiled and hold out/reached out a hand in welcome. 她笑着伸出一只手表示欢迎。10.Her hands shook/trembled as she lifted the glass to her lips. 她的手颤抖着把杯子送到唇边。11.She shivered, rubbing her hands together fiercely. 她一边颤抖，一边使劲搓着双手。12.She put her hands to her cheeks in embarrassment.窘迫

15、之中她用双手捂住了脸。13. He sat with his head in his hands.他双手抱着头坐着。14. He slid his hands into his pockets.他悄悄地将手插进口袋里。15. His hand was slippery with sweat. 他的手汗津津的。16. He got int a fist fight in the bar. 他在酒吧与人挥拳斗殴。与手指、手掌相关描述【名词】finger手指； palm手掌；【词组】cross ones fingers交叉手指；祈求好运； thumb up at sb. 朝某人竖起大拇指 snap

16、ones fingers 打响指 ；drum ones fingers on 用手指轻敲； dip one is finger in sth.用手指蘸；point a finger at 用手指指着； poke sb. with ones finger 用手指戳某人；slap ones palm用手拍击；1. He smacked a fist into the palm of his hand. 他用拳头啪地猛击一下手掌。2. Dornberg slapped the table with the palm of his hand. 多恩伯格用他的手掌拍了一下桌子。3. The teache

17、r raised a warning finger and we stopped talking. 老师竖起一根手指以示警告，我们止了讲话。4. She took off his bandages with gentle fingers. 她手法轻柔地取下了他的绷带。5.“It was them!”she cried, pointing an accusing finger at the boys.“是他们!”她谴责地用手指指着那些男孩喊道。6. I dipped my finger in the sauce and licked it. 我用手指蘸了蘸调味汁，并尝了一下。7. .He was

18、 drumming his fingers nervously on the arm of the chair.他紧张地用手指敲着椅子的扶手。8. He snapped his fingers and the dog came running. 他打了个响指，狗跑了过来。9. The teacher nodded with satisfaction and thumbed up at him. 老师满意地点了点头，朝他竖起了大拇指。10. She wagged a disapproving finger. 她摇摇手指表示不赞成。与肩膀、胳膊相关描述【名词】arm手臂； 上肢； 胳膊； shou

19、lder肩膀； 上背部；【词组】with arms crossed 双臂交叉; arm in arm臂挽臂； hug/hold/embrace sb. in ones arms拥抱; catch/grab/hold ones arm 抓住某人的胳膊; put/threw ones arms around sb. 抱住某人; pull sb.into ones arms 拉某人进怀; hold out/open ones arms 张开双臂; sit on ones shoulders 坐在某人的肩膀上; take ones arm 挽住某人的胳膊; tap/pat sb.on the shou

20、lder 拍某人的肩膀; shrug ones shoulders 耸耸肩;1. His arm throbbed dully. 他的手臂微微地颤动。2.They are sure to welcome you with open arms.他们一定会张开双臂欢迎你。3.They walked along arm in arm. 他们手挽手的走着。4.He stood there with crossed arms, looking angry 他交叉双臂站在那，看起来很生气。5. She folded her arms and stared at him. 她双臂交叉，凝视着他。6. He

21、held out/opened his arms with a broad smile.他张开双臂,露出灿烂笑容。7. Jane snuggled up against his shoulder. 简依偎在他的肩膀上。8. I tapped the man on the shoulder and asked him to love. 我拍了拍那名男子的肩膀，让他挪动一下。9. When I asked him why he had done it, he just shrugged his shoulders.当我问他为什么要这么做时，他只是耸了耸肩。10. My shoulders drop

22、ped with relief. 我肩膀一垂，松了口气。11. He shouldered open the door.他用肩膀推开门。12.She shouldered her way through the crowd. 她用肩膀挤过人群。13. He looked (back) over his shoulder. 他回头朝后看。14. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. 我突然感到肩部一阵剧痛。15. With a furtive glance over her shoulder, she unlocked the door and

23、 entered the house.随着越过其肩的鬼鬼祟祟的一瞥，她打开锁进了那房子。与心、背相关描述【词组】a heavy/sinking/broken heart沉重/垂头丧气/破碎的心情； follow your heart遵从你的内心； a light heart轻松的心情； lose heart灰心； lose ones heart 倾心； open ones heart to sb对某人敞开心扉； lean ones back背靠着； lie on ones back仰卧；1. Joy welled up in his heart. 他的心里充满了欢乐。2. Her heart

24、raced uncontrollably. 她的心脏难以控制地急速跳动起来。3. She suffered from a weak heart. 她心脏不好。4. With a heavy/sinking/broken heart, she watched him.她怀着沉重/垂头丧气/破碎的心情看着他离开。5. He set off with a light heart. 他怀着轻松的心情出发了。6. Just follow your heart and youll be happy. 遵从你的内心，你会开心的。7. Relief filled his heart. 他心里充满了如释重负的心

25、情。8. My heart aches when I think of their sorrow.当我想到他们的悲伤时，我的心都痛了。9. Her heart was pounding with excitement. 她的心激动得直跳。10.Her heart went pit-a-pat. 她心理扑扑直跳。与腿相关描述【动词】wander/stroll漫步闲逛； jog漫步； hurry/rush/dash匆匆而行； march坚定地进发； stride大步走； hobble 蹒跚； sneak/slide/slip溜走； pace踱步【词组】jump/spring to ones fee

26、t 跳起来； stagger to ones feet 摇摇晃晃站起身来； rise to ones feet 站起来； tap/stamp ones feet 跺脚； hang around/about 闲荡； run quickly/swiftly 快速跑开； creep into ones tent 爬进帐篷； stand rooted to the spot站在原地不动； rush/dash/run like the wind 像风一样奔跑； slow ones stride 放慢脚步； creep/sneak up the stairs 蹑手蹑脚地上楼； on tiptoe 蹑手蹑脚

27、； bounce up and down上蹿下跳； on ones knees 跪下； dash to 猛冲向； on tired/shaky legs用疲惫/颤抖的双腿； sink/collapse into ones seat瘫坐1.Suddenly her knees buckled/weakened and she fell to the floor.突然她的膝盖一软，摔倒在了地上。2.He hugged his knees to keep warm.为了保暖，他抱住双膝。3.He sat on her fathers knees while he read her a story.他

28、坐在他父亲的膝上，听父亲讲故事。4.He was on his knees, searching for the missing ring.他跪在地上寻找丢失的戒指。5.I had grazed my knees a little. 我的膝盖破了一点皮。6.He skinned his knees climbing down the tree.他从树上爬下来时把膝盖蹭破了。7. There were holes in the knees of his trousers. 他裤子的膝部有破洞。8. She crossed the finish line on tired legs. 她用疲惫的双

29、腿穿过了终点线。9. He went/got down on his knees and begged for forgiveness. 他双膝跪下，乞求原谅。10. He shivered as his feet touched the cold floor.当他的脚一碰到冰冷的地板时，他哆嗦了一下。11. She jumped to her feet when she heard the news.当她听到这个消息时，她跳了起来，12. She was tapping/stamping her feet impatiently 她不耐烦地跺着脚。13. She dragged her fe

30、et as she reluctantly followed her parents.她不情愿地跟在父母后面，磨磨蹭蹭地走着。14.They carried him out of the room with his feet kicking.他们把他拖出房间,他的脚在空中乱踢。15.It was a freezing day when he was on his way to school, trembling from head to toe.那是一个寒冷的日子，他在去学校的路上，从头到脚都在发抖。16. She slipped her feet as she reluctantly fol

31、lowed her parents.她拖着脚步，不情愿地跟在父母身后。17. I stubbed my toe on the step. 我的脚趾踢在了台阶上。18. His feet slipped in the slimy mud. 他因脚下黏糊糊的泥而滑倒了。19. Dont let the grass grow under your feet. 不要浪费光阴，错失良机。动作描写常用句型【Doing sth, sb did sth】【例句】Linking arms with one of the instructors, I helped carry the young man out

32、of the water. 我和其中一位教官挽着手，帮助把这个年轻人从水里抬了出来【例句】Looking down, Winters saw a two-year-old on the sidewalk gasping for air and his mother desperately begging for help. 往下看，温特斯看到一个两岁的孩子在人行道上喘着粗气，他的母亲拼命地乞求帮助。【Sb did sth, doing sth】【例句】Dennis got a group text, informinghim that the couple he had seen before

33、 were at the hospital. 丹尼斯收到一条群发短信，告诉他他之前见过的那对夫妇在医院。【例句】The post has gained the attention of social media users all over the world, receiving millions of shares and likes in just three days. 该帖子引起了全球社交媒体用户的关注，在短短三天内就获得了数百万次分享和点赞【Done sth, sb did sth】【例句】Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallo

34、w the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. 司机说不出话来，试图吞下喉咙里迅速膨胀的肿块。【例句】Encouraged by my uncles words, I refitted my bait, and put the pole again into the water. 在叔叔的话的鼓励下，我重新装上了鱼饵，又把鱼竿放进了水里。【Having done sth, sb did sth】【例句】Having miraculously(奇迹般地) crossed the busy road with fast-flowing traffic, the

35、 tractor was resting against the crash barrier in the central reservation. 奇迹般地穿过车流湍急的繁忙道路后，拖拉机靠在中央保留区的防撞护栏上。【例句】Having swallowed the bread in one gulp, he turned to us again. 一口吞下面包后，他又转向我们。【Sb did A, did B and did C】【例句】Larrypulled over, set the brake and got hold of the fire extinguisher (灭火器)。拉里

36、靠边停车，踩下刹车，拿起灭火器【例句】The competitor glanced over/around the audience in front of the stage, took a deep breath and started to sing. 参赛者瞥了一眼舞台前的观众，深吸一口气，开始唱歌。【No sooner had sb done than sb did sth/The moment sb did (动作1) sth, sb did (动作2) sth】【例句】No sooner had he bent down to give poppy a bear hug than

37、happy kisses rained upon his face./The moment he bent down to give poppy a bear hug, happy kisses rained upon his face. 他刚弯下腰给罂粟一个熊抱，幸福的吻就如雨点般落在他的脸上。【例句】No sooner had we come to a stop in the driveway than she opened the car door and walked straight towards the side gate. 我们刚在车道上停下来，她就打开车门，径直走向侧门。【A

38、t the thought/sight/sound of sth, sb did sth】【例句】At the sight of the ferocious wolf, I was seized by a strong sense of horror with my palms sweating. 一看到凶猛的狼，我被一股强烈的恐惧感抓住，手心出汗。【例句】At the sound of the alarm, the wolf fled into the thick woods警报声响起，狼逃进了茂密的树林中.【On /Upon doing sth, sb did sth】on/upon后面的

39、动名词多为：go, arrive, leave, reach, return, step, enter等。【例句】On arriving at the village, we were warmly welcomed by the villagers. 到达村子后，我们受到了村民的热烈欢迎。【例句】Upon going out of the room, Jack heard the telephone ringing. 走出房间后，杰克听到电话铃声。【Sb could hardly wait to do sth / Sb did sth without a second thought / w

40、ithout hesitation】【例句】I could hardly wait to tell Gloria the good news. 我迫不及待地想把这个好消息告诉格洛丽亚。【例句】Tom rushed out of the room without a second thought. 汤姆不假思索地冲出了房间。【An inner voice whispered, “”/ Sb thought / said to oneself, “”】【例句】An inner voice whispered, “Stay clear-headed. I can make it.” 一个内心的声音低

41、声说：“保持清醒的头脑。我能做到。【例句】An inner whispered, “You can do this.” 一个内在的人低声说：“你可以做到。【Sb was at a loss (to do sth/for sth)】【例句】Facing risks, she was at a loss for choice. 面对风险，她不知所措。【例句】Realizing she was in the middle of nowhere, she was at a loss. 意识到自己身处偏僻的地方，她不知所措。【Sb did sth but in vain / Sb did sth but

42、 didnt make it】【例句】I ran desperately to catch up but in vain. 我拼命地跑去追赶，但徒劳无功。【例句】I tried to get the engine started again but in vain. 我试图再次启动引擎，但徒劳无功。典例赏析【开车上班】开始：打开车门，坐进驾驶座。中间：插入钥匙，启动引擎，系好安全带。结束：踩油门，车辆逐渐启动，驶出车库。Sliding into the car, I turn the key, feeling the engine hum to life, and with a click,

43、I buckle up, preparing for the journey.【做菜】开始：洗净食材，摆放在案板上。中间：切菜，点火，翻炒香料。结束：装盘，摆餐桌，享受美食。Chopping veggies, sizzling spices, and the aromatic blend create a visual and olfactory feast on the plate.【晨间锻炼】开始：穿上运动服，系好运动鞋。中间：进行热身运动，慢跑，拉伸。结束：停下来，深呼吸，感受身体的疲劳和舒适。Donning workout gear, I stretch, jog to a rhyth

44、mic beat, and end with a deep breath, relishing the satisfying fatigue.【买咖啡】开始：走进咖啡店，看着菜单。中间：点单，等待，闻着咖啡香味。结束：拿到咖啡，付款，离开咖啡店。Ordering at the cozy shop, the aroma of coffee fills the air as I wait for a warm cup, leaving with a friendly exchange.【读书】开始：打开书本，翻开第一页。中间：专注阅读，做记号，沉浸在故事中。结束：合上书，思考所读内容，感受阅读的愉

45、悦。Opening the book, Im immersed in its world; the occasional page turn echoes in the silence, and closing it leaves a lingering joy.【开门】He approached the door, turned the handle, and slowly pushed it open.他走到门前，转动把手，慢慢推开了门。【准备早餐】She took out eggs from the fridge, cracked them into a bowl, and whiske

46、d them with a fork.她从冰箱里拿出鸡蛋，打破它们放进碗里，然后用叉子搅拌。【上学】He grabbed his backpack, slung it over his shoulder, and rushed out the door.他抓起背包，挎在肩上，匆忙地冲出门去。【修理自行车】With a wrench in hand, he tightened the loose bolts, oiled the chain, and checked the tire pressure.手持扳手，他拧紧了松动的螺栓，给链条上油，还检查了轮胎的气压。【购物】She entered

47、the store, picked up a shopping basket, and started browsing the aisles for items on her list.她走进商店，拿起购物篮，开始沿着过道查找她清单上的物品。【写作业】Sitting at the desk, he opened his textbook, took out a notebook, and began jotting down notes.坐在桌前，他打开教科书，拿出笔记本，开始记笔记。【打篮球】Dribbling the ball down the court, he dodged defenders, made a quick pass, and took a shot at the basket.他运球穿过球场，躲过防守者，快速传球