TED经典演讲稿我不想要孩子 别再告诉我我会改变.pdf

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1、TED题：I dont want children-stop telling me Ill change my mind作者:Christen Reighter我不想要孩别再告诉我我会改变主意I recognized the roles that were placed on me very early.One persistent concept that I observed-existing in our language,in our media-was that women are not only supposed to have children,they are suppose

2、d to want to.This existed everywhere.It existed in the ways that adults spoke to me when they posed questions in the context of when.When you get married.When you have kids.And these future musings were always presented to me like part of this American dream,but it always felt to me like someone els

3、es dream.You see,a value that I have always understood about myself was that I never wanted children.And as a kid,when I would try to explain this,this disconnect between their roles and my values,they often laughed in the way that adults do at the absurdities of children.And they would tell me know

4、ingly,Youll change your mind.我在时候就认识到了 被设置的。据我观察，有个根深蒂固的观念，存在于我们的语和媒体中。那就是不仅应当有孩，且她们想要有孩。这种观念处不在。当们在“当你”的语境中提问，它就存在于他们跟我说话的式。“当你结婚的时候”“当你有了孩”对未来的这些思考总是呈现在我前，就像美国梦样，但对我来说，这就像是别的梦想。我直了解的价值观，那就是我从来没想过要孩。但我很的时候，我试图去向们解释 他们的和我价值观的脱节时，他们经常笑我，以种对待 孩的稽之谈的式。并且他们仿佛 什么都知道样告诉我，“你会回转意的。”And people have been sayi

5、ng things like that to me my whole life.Otherwise polite conversation can turn intrusive fast.Does your husband know?在我的整个中，们直这样对我说，要么礼貌的谈话会 很快变得具有侵扰性。“你的丈夫知道吗？”persistent concept根深蒂固的观念musingsn.沉思absurdityn.荒谬knowinglyadv.故意地intrusiveadj.侵的Do your parents know?“你的母知道吗？”Dont you want a family?Dont y

6、ou want to leave anything behind?And the primary buzzword when discussing childlessness,Thats selfish.“你不想要个家庭吗？”“你不想在后留下点什么吗？”在讨论问题的时候，最流的词就是，“这太私了。”There are countless reasons a woman may have for choosing to abstain from motherhood,the majority of them not self-prioritizing.But it is still social

7、ly acceptable to publicly vilify women as such,because none of these reasons have made it into the social narrative.个有数的原因 选择不做母亲。她们中多数都没有 优先考虑。但社会还是选择接受这种 公开诋毁妇的想法，因为没有任何理由使绝育 变为社会上种流的说法。When I was little and learning about the inevitability of maternity,it was never explained to me the commonness

8、of these factors that women consider,like the risk of passing on hereditary illness,the danger of having to stop life-saving medication for the duration of your pregnancy,concern about overpopulation,your access to resources,and the fact that there are 415,000 children in the foster-care system in t

9、he United States at any given time.Reasons like these,many more,and the fact that I dont like to leave things of this magnitude to chance,all informed my decision to become surgically sterilized.我时候就知道了做母亲的必然性，但从没跟我解释 妇需要考虑的因素，像遗传疾病的风险，怀孕期间不得不停 使救命药的危险，过剩的担忧，获取资源的机会，以及在美国有 415000 个 孩被寄养的事实。像这样的原因还有很

10、多，为了杜绝这些因素发，我决定 做绝育术。buzzwordn.流词abstainv.弃权majorityn.多数maternityn.性pregnancyn.怀孕magnituden.巨surgicallyadv.如外科术般的sterilizedv.消毒I began my research eagerly.I wanted to fully understand all that was going to come with undergoing a tubal ligation,which is just another word for getting your tubes tied.I

11、 wanted to know approval to aftermath,satisfaction rates,risks,statistics.And at first,I was empowered.You see,the way the narrative has always been taught to me,I would have thought that women who didnt want children were so rare,and then I learned one in five American women wont be having a biolog

12、ical child-some by choice,some by chance.我开始热切的做相关的调查。我想要完全了解 关于输卵管结扎术的切，简单来说，就是把你的输卵管打个结。我想知道术的批准和善后、满意度、风险以及些统计数据。开始的时候，我受舞。要知道，过去的观念还直影响着我，我本以为不想要孩的性常的少，但是后来我了解到，在美国，有五分之 的不想育孩。有些是愿的，有些是偶然的。But I was not alone.But the more I read,the more disheartened I became.I read womens stories,trying despera

13、tely to get this procedure.I learned how common it was for women to exhaust their finances appealing to dozens of ob-gyns over many years,only to be turned down so many times,often with such blatant disrespect that they just gave up.Women reported that medical practitioners were often condescending

14、and dismissive of their motivations,being told things like,Come back when youre married with a child.所以我不是个在战。但是我了解得越多，就变得越沮丧。我了解了很多的经历，她们不顾切的想要做绝育术。但很多为此倾家荡产，很多年来，咨询了个妇产科医，得到的结果只有被拒绝，还经常受到不公的待遇，最后她们都放弃了。很多妇报告说，执业医经常是傲的，对她们的决定不屑顾。她们得到的回答往往是，“等你结婚有孩后再来吧。”undergoingv.经历，经受tubal ligation输卵管结扎aftermathn

15、.后果empoweredadj.获得授权的desperatelyadv.不顾切地condescendingadj.谦逊的dismissiveadj.轻蔑的But women who did have children,who went to go get this procedure,were told they were too young,or they didnt have enough children,which is very interesting,because the legal requirements in my state for getting this kind o

16、f surgery were,Be at least 21 years old,appear of sound mind,acting of your own accord,and have a 30-day waiting period.And I was perplexed that I could meet all of these legal requirements and still have to face a battle in the exam room for my bodily autonomy.And it was daunting,but I was determin

17、ed.但当完孩，再去做绝育术的时候，医又会说她们太年轻了，或者她们还想要更多的孩，这简直太嘲讽了。因为在我所在的州，做这种术的法律规定是，“21岁以上，”“智健全，精神正常，”还要“30天的等待周期。”让我不解的是，我满所有的法律要求，但为了我体的主权，在检验室仍然还要 临场战争，这常令馁，但我决已定。I remember I dressed so professionally to that first appointment.我记得第次赴约的时候，打扮得常职业。I sat up straight.I spoke clearly.I wanted to give that doctor ev

18、ery piece of evidence that I was not the date of birth in that file.And I made sure to mention things like,I just got my bachelors degree and Im applying to these doctoral programs,Im going to study these things.And my long-term partner has this kind of business,and Ive done research on this for mon

19、ths.I understand everything about it,all the risks.我坐得笔直。讲话也很清晰。我想让医知道，我不是档案那么年轻。我要确定传达出这些信息，“我刚刚取得学学位，正在申请些什么博学位项，我将来要做些什么研究。”并且“我的长期伴侣也是做这的，”“关于绝育，我也已经 做了个的研究了。我了解各个和所有的风险。”perplexedadj.困惑的autonomyn.治权determinedadj.下定决的Because I needed the doctor to know that this was not a whim,not reactionary,no

20、t your 20-something looking to go out and party without fear of getting knocked up.that this supported something integral to who I was.因为我要让医知道，这不是来潮，也不是要反对什么，更不是 20 来岁出去聚会 担肚被搞 这么做只是为了让我成为我。And I understand informed consent,so I fully expected to be reeducated on how it all worked,but.At one point,

21、the information being given to me started to feel agendad,interlaced with bias and inflated statistics.The questions began to feel interrogative.At first they were asking me questions that seemed to understand my situation better,and then it seemed like they were asking questions to try to trip me u

22、p.I felt like I was on the witness stand,being cross-examined.我了解、知情并同意，我也做好了被教育的准备，但是.某种程度上，给我的信息 就像事先安排好样，交织着偏见和夸张的统计数据。我开始感觉像在被质问。起初他们问的问题，像是为了能够更好地理解我的情况，但后来的问题却像是 有意引导我答错。我感觉像在证席上被盘问。The doctor asked me about my partner.How does he or she feel about all of this?Well,Ive been with the same man f

23、or five years,and he fully supports any decision I make for my body.And he said,Well,what happens in the future,if you change partners?What happens when that person wants children?医问了关于我伴侣的情况。“他（她）的态度是怎么样的？”“我跟他在起五年了，他完全持我 对体的任何决定。”他说：“好吧，如果将来 你换伴侣了怎么办？万那个伴侣想要孩呢？reactionaryadj.反动的，保守的interlacedadj.交

24、错的And I didnt quite know how to react to that,because what I was hearing was this doctor tell me that Im supposed to disregard everything I believe if a partner demands children.So I told him not to worry about that.My stance on childbearing has always been first date conversation.我真的不知道怎么回应了，因为我所听到

25、的是，这个医认为，如果 伴侣想要孩的话，我就应该抛弃我的信仰，所以我告诉他不要担这些，关于孩的态度，我定会 在第次约会的时候声明的。He then asks me to consider how in 20 years,you could really come to regret this.as though I hadnt.I told him,OK,if I wake up one day and realize,you know,I wish Id made a different decision back then,the truth is,Id only removed a si

26、ngle path to parenthood.I never needed biology to form family anyway.然后他又问我，如果 20 年后你真的后悔了怎么办?好像我定会后悔似的。我告诉他，“如果我有天醒来，意识到 我希望当时做了个不同的决定，但其实我只是少了 条通往做母的路，论如何，我从不需要通过 物缘关系来组建家庭。”And I would much rather deal with that any day than deal with one day waking up,realize Id had a child that I didnt really w

27、ant or was prepared to care for.Because one of these affects only me.The other affects a child,their development,their well-being-and human beings are not to be gambled with.我宁愿随时对这件事，不是有天醒来，意识到我有个孩，我却不想要这个孩，或者 还没准备好去照顾他（她）。因为其中的个选择 影响到的只有我。另个选择则会影响到孩，包括孩们的成长和幸福孩们从来不应该被拿来赌博。childbearingn.分娩，parentho

28、odn.亲关系gamblev.赌博He then tells me why no one was going to approve this procedure,certainly not he,because of a concept called medical paternalism,which allows him,as my well-informed provider,to make decisions for me.based on his perception of my best interest,regardless of what I,as the patient,wan

29、t or believe.He takes this opportunity to step out and discuss my case with my potential surgeon,and through the door,I hear him describe me as a little girl.然后他告诉我，为什么 没有批准你这个术，当然不是他，因为有个概念叫医学家长主义，让这个见多识的医 作为我医学上的家长，从替我做决定.基于他的度，为我的利益 最化进考量，却视我这个病 想要的或者相信的。他借机出去，与我的主医讨论我的情况，隔着门，我听到他把我 描述成个孩。I was s

30、o offended.I wanted to defend myself.I wanted to explicitly explain to each one of these providers how they were treating me,that it was belittling and sexist,and I didnt have to take it.But I did take it.I swallowed every sharp word in my throat,clenched my jaw,and instead answered each one of thei

31、r condescending questions and statements.I had come here looking for objectivity and support and instead I felt dismissed and silenced,and I hated myself for it.I hated that I was letting people disrespect me repeatedly.But this was my one shot.我特别。我想要捍卫的权利。我想向每个医明确解释，他们是怎么对我的，贬低我，歧视我的性别，我没有必要受这些。但我

32、还是接受了。我把每个刻薄的语吞进肚，咬紧关，回应了他们每个 傲慢的问题和陈述。我来这是寻找客观和持的，但我却感到了被驱逐和被迫沉默，我讨厌这样的。我讨厌让们反复的不尊重我。但这是我唯的机会。paternalismn.家式作potential surgeon主医belittlingadj.轻视的swallowv.吞咽That was one of multiple consultations that I had to go to.At one point,I had seen five or six medical professionals in the same hour.The door

33、 to the exam room felt more like the door to a clown car.Theres my primary,theres his colleague,the director,OK.It felt like I was asking them to infect me with smallpox instead of,I dont know,obtain birth control.But I didnt waver,and I was persistent,and I eventually convinced one of them to allow

34、 the procedure.And even as I am in the room,signing the consent forms and getting the hormone shots and tying up loose ends.my doctor is shaking his head in disapproval.Youll change your mind.这也是我不得不参加 的多次咨询之。有次，我在个时内 跟五到六个医疗专家会。通往检验室的门更像是丑车的门。有我的医，他的同事，还有主任，好吧。感觉好像是我要求他们让我感染天花，不是做节育。但我不是摇摆不定的，我很坚持，

35、终于说服了个医同意做术。即使我在术室，在同意书上签字，注射了荷尔蒙针，深呼吸准备的时候，我的医还在摇头表不赞同。“你会改变你的想法的。”I never really understood how strongly this society clings to this role until I went through this.I experienced firsthand,repeatedly,how people,be it medical providers,colleagues,strangers,were literally unable to separate me being

36、a woman from me being a mother.And Ive always believed that having children was an extension of womanhood,not the definition.I believe that a womans value should never be determined by whether or not she has a child,because that strips her of her entire identity as an adult unto herself.我从来没有真正感受到 这

37、个社会对母亲的执着，直到我经历了这切。我不断的亲经历，医，同事，陌，怎么也法把我从个 母亲和的份中 区别开来。我直相信，育 是性份的延伸定义。我相信个的价值 不应该以是否有孩来判断，因为这剥离了她作为成年 的整个份。multipleadj.多重的smallpoxn.天花definitionn.定义Women have this amazing ability to create life,but when we say that that is her purpose,that says that her entire existence is a means to an end.有创造命的奇

38、妙能，但当我们说这是她的的的时候，就是说她的存在 只是为了达到的种段。Its so easy to forget the roles that society places on us are so much more than mere titles.What about the weight that comes with them,the pressure to conform to these standards.the fear associated with questioning them,and the desires that we cast aside to accept

39、them?There are many paths to happiness and fulfillment.They all look very different,but I believe that every one is paved with the right to self-determination.我们很容易忘记，社会赋予我们的 远头衔来的重要。那么那些随来的重量、遵守规则的压、质疑他们带来的恐惧、为接受他们抛弃的欲望，又该怎么办呢？通往幸福和满的路有很多。它们看上去都不样，但我相信每个 都能主决定如何铺设这条路。I want women to know that your

40、choice to embrace or forego motherhood is not in any way tied to your worthiness or identity as spouses,as adults,or as women.and there absolutely is a choice behind maternity,and it is yours and yours alone.我想让性们知道，你是否选择作为个母亲 和你的价值、作为配偶、成或者 的份毫关系.在母性的背后绝对有个选择，它是属于你的，仅仅属于你。self-determination主决定foregov.放弃maternityn.性