英语写作优化句子常用方法.pptx

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1、2008年广东高考题你很荣幸地成为2008北京奥运会的一名志愿者，负责编写奥运比赛项目的英语介绍。【写作内容】请根据以下中文提纲，编写射击项目的英语介绍：背景：射击最初只是生存工具，19世纪末才发展成体育活动。1896：第一次成为奥运项目1904：中断1928：中断第1页/共60页1932：重回奥运会1968：第一次允许妇女参加奥运射击比赛现状：稳步发展，1896年奥运会只有三项 射击项目，现今有17项。【写作要求】只能使用5个句子表达全部内容。【评分标准】句子结构准确，信息内容完整，篇章结构连贯。第2页/共60页 Shooting,originated as a means of survi

2、val,developed into a sport only in the late 19th century.The sport,which first appeared in 1896,was ever suspended during the 1904 and 1928 Games.It was only four years before the sport returned to the Olympic.However,not until 1968 were women first allowed to compete in the Olympic shooting.With th

3、e sport becoming more and more popular,it has grown steadily from just 3 shooting events at the 1896 Olympic Games to 17 today.广东08高考基础写作范文：句子表达有何亮点？第3页/共60页一、运用同位语一、运用同位语此方法多用于介绍人物、事物、产品、书名或地点等。【例1】介绍事物：（2008）射击最初只是生存工具，19世纪才发展成为一项体育运动。Shooting,a means of survival originally,developed into a sport

4、only in the late 19th century.第4页/共60页【例2】介绍人物：（2009）上周我们就中小学生近视问题采访了眼科医生王教授。Last week,we had an interview with Professor Wang,an eye-doctor,concerning the issue of short-sightedness of the school children in China.一、运用同位语一、运用同位语第5页/共60页【例3】介绍书名：（2011）书名：Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother作者：Amy Chua，美籍

5、华人，耶鲁大学教授中文版：2011年初开始在中国销售A book,Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,written by Amy Chua,an American-Chinese,has been sold in China since the beginning of 2011.第6页/共60页1.Guangzhou is the capital of Guangdong Province.It is located in the middle of Guangdong Province.It is the culture and economy center

6、of Guangdong Province.Guangzhou,the capital and the culture and economy center of Guangdong Province,is located in the middle of Guangdong.运用同位语合并句子第7页/共60页2.Zhang Hai is male.He is 23 years old.He graduated from Hunan Normal University last year.Zhang Hai,male,23 years old,graduated from Hunan Norm

7、al University last year.运用同位语合并句子第8页/共60页1.去年，我被邀请参加一个为“待援助的孩子”（Tuesday Child）举办的一个狂欢节（carnival），“待援助的孩子”是一个帮助艾滋患儿的组织。Last year,I was invited to participate in a carnival for Tuesday Child,_.运用同位语完成句子an organization that helps children with AIDS第9页/共60页2.离2010年还有一个月时间，但孤星指南（the Lonely Planet）等不及宣布来年

8、十大旅游城市排行榜，孤星指南是世界最畅销旅游指南杂志之一。There is still more than one month to go before 2012.But the Lonely Planet,_ _,cant wait to announce its top 10 cities to travel to in the coming year.运用同位语完成句子 one of the worlds best-selling travel guides第10页/共60页1.李敏是个女孩子，今年18岁，她在光华中学学习，她是我的邻居也是我最好的朋友。Li Min,a girl of

9、18,my neighbour and my best friend,is studying in Guanghua Middle School.运用同位语翻译合并句子第11页/共60页2.姓名：Steve Jobs别名：苹果教父（godfather）出生地：美国加州三藩市出生日期：1955年2月24日逝世日期：2011年10月5日Steve Jobs,the godfather of Apple,was born in San Francisco,California,the USA on February 24th,1955 and passed away on October 5th,2

10、011.运用同位语翻译合并句子第12页/共60页介词短语非谓语动词短语：现在分词 过去分词 不定式短语二、运用短语二、运用短语第13页/共60页介词短语常作状语。【例4】我很惊讶，一切进展得那么顺利。【一般】I was surprise.Everything went on very well.【高级】To my surprise,everything went on well.第14页/共60页介词短语常作定语。【例5】Waste water is making the river worse and worse.The waste water is from a factory.The f

11、actory lies on the river.【高级】Waste water from the factory on the river is making the river worse and worse.第15页/共60页1.Xiaxi Town is not big but beautiful.It has an area of about 8 square kilometers.Xiaxi Town,with an area of about 8 square kilometers,is not big but beautiful.2.There is an old tower.

12、The tower lies in the east of the town.There is a river behind the tower.In the east of the town lies an old tower,behind which there is a river.运用介词短语合并句子第16页/共60页3.We started early.We wanted to enjoy the sunrise on the top of the tower.We started early(in order/so as/in an effort)to enjoy/with the

13、 purpose(goal)of enjoying the sunrise on the top of the tower.4.As soon as we got there,we began to take photos.On arriving there,we began to take photos.第17页/共60页5.A professor gave us a talk this morning.He came from Beijing University.He talked about how to learn English well.A professor from Beij

14、ing University gave us a talk about/on how to learn English well this morning.6.He told us of his own interesting experiences of learning English.We laughed a lot.On hearing his own interesting experiences of learning English,we laughed a lot.第18页/共60页7.His talk lasted an hour.He asked us some quest

15、ions.During the one-hour talk,he asked us some questions.第19页/共60页使用时请注意以下几点：不定式的动作发生在谓语动词之后（一般情况下，尽量用不定式的主动式）；现在分词表主动，该动作与谓语动词的动作同时发生或紧接着发生；过去分词表被动，或表示该动词的动作在谓语动词动作之前发生，或者没有时间性；现在分词的被动式表被动，与谓语动词的动作同时发生。二、运用二、运用非谓语动词短语非谓语动词短语第20页/共60页【例6】故事是用简单的英语写的，很受英语初学者的欢迎。【一般】The stories are written in simple E

16、nglish.They are popular with English beginners.【高级】Written in simple English,the stories are popular with English beginners.二、运用二、运用非谓语动词短语非谓语动词短语第21页/共60页1.He is ill.He didnt go to school.Being ill,he didnt go to school.2.Im writing to invite you to be a judge at our English speech contest.It will

17、be held on June 5.Im writing to invite you to be a judge at our English speech contest to be held on June 5.运用非谓语动词短语合并句子第22页/共60页3.After she listened to me for a while,she gave me a big smile and said she liked my voice very much.After listening to me for a while,she gave me a big smile and said sh

18、e liked my voice very much.4.I dont know his name.I call him Good Man.Not knowing his name,I call him Good Man.第23页/共60页5.The man is singing a song.He is my brother.The man singing a song is my brother.6.Suddenly I saw an ant.She was trying hard to move another ant who was dead.Suddenly I saw an ant

19、 trying hard to move another ant who was dead.第24页/共60页常用的并列连词有and,but,or,otherwise,nor,so,yet,however,for,as well as,both and,not only but also,either or,neither nor,and then,since 等。三、运用并列句三、运用并列句第25页/共60页【例7】他不喜欢音乐，也不喜欢运动。【一般】He doesnt like music.He doesnt like sports,either.【高级】He likes neither

20、music nor sports.三、运用并列句第26页/共60页【例8】我不喜欢他，他很自私。【一般】I dont like him.He is selfish.【高级】I dont like him,for he is selfish.三、运用并列句第27页/共60页1.He works hard himself.He encourages us to work hard,too.He not only works hard himself,but also encourages us to work hard.2.These glasses are very expensive.Plea

21、se be careful with them.Please be careful with these glasses,for they are very expensive.运用并列连词合并句子第28页/共60页3.Half of the girls choose film and TV stars as their idols.48%of the boys favour sports stars.Half of the girls choose film and TV stars as their idols while 48%of the boys favour sports star

22、s.4.I am good at expressing myself.I have the language advantage over others.Not only am I good at expressing myself,but I also have the language advantage over others.第29页/共60页5.According to the professor,the cause of short-sightedness is very complicated.No medicine can cure it.According to the pr

23、ofessor,the cause of short-sightedness is very complicated so no medicine can cure it.第30页/共60页6.The government should be aware of the importance of providing education for all the children.The average people should be aware of the importance,too.The government,as well as the average people/Both the

24、 government and the average people should be aware of the importance of providing education for all the children.第31页/共60页最常用的是状语从句、主语从句、宾语从句、表语从句和定语从句。【例9】废水被直接排放到河里，河水被严重污染。【一般】Waste water is directly let into the river.The river is seriously polluted.【高级】The river is seriously polluted because wa

25、ste water is directly let into it.四、运用复合句第32页/共60页【例10】他病得很重，这让我着急。【一般】He was seriously ill.It made me worried.【高级】He was seriously ill,which made me worried.四、运用复合句第33页/共60页1.He never lost a game.I was really astonished.I was really astonished that he never lost a game.2.Li Hua is my classmate.His

26、English is very good.Li Hua is my classmate,whose English is very good.运用复合句合并句子第34页/共60页3.As for myself,Thomas Edison is my idol.His inventions have greatly changed our life.As for myself,Thomas Edison is my idol because his inventions have greatly changed our life.As for myself,Thomas Edison,whose

27、 inventions have greatly changed our life,is my idol.第35页/共60页4.Currently China has about 350 million smokers.Among these smokers 75%are men and 25%are women.Currently China has about 350 million smokers,among whom 75%are men and 25%are women.第36页/共60页5.We are now living in an information age.TV,cel

28、ls and the Web are widely used in this age.We are now living in an information age,in which TV,cells and the Web are widely used.第37页/共60页6.The government would organize more than 1,100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells in the countrys southwest.It is reported.It is reported

29、 that the government would organize more than 1,100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells in the countrys southwest.As is reported,the government would organize more than 1,100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells in the countrys southwest.第38页/共60页需要注意的是，我

30、们在写作时，要注意不要一味地追求复杂的句型，能简则简，能用短语，就不要用从句。在句式多样的前提下，尽量做到精炼。【例11】我正在餐桌旁吃饭，一个人朝我走了过来，那个人戴着一顶黑帽子。【复杂】I was at table when a man who was wearing a black hat came up to me.【简明】When I was at table,a man wearing a black hat came up to me.第39页/共60页写作中复合句常见的错误1.只有从句，没有主句只有从句，没有主句 The keeper who had lived in the

31、light tower for a long time,so he could keep calm in the storm.第40页/共60页2.以逗号代替句号以逗号代替句号,把两个简单句当成把两个简单句当成一个句子一个句子 The old man thought of his son,tears came down from his face.The hall is different from all other buildings,it is made of glass.第41页/共60页3.3.刻意使用从句，表达不自然刻意使用从句，表达不自然 There are over fifty

32、 students in this school who are going to take part in the sports meet next Sunday.Over fifty students in this school are going to take part in the sports meet next Sunday.第42页/共60页4.过多地使用并列句组合信息过多地使用并列句组合信息 We were driving out into the country,and we saw our English teacher riding in a bus,and the

33、bus was crowded.It is a beautiful day,and the sun is shining and a breeze is blowing.It is a beautiful day with the sun shining and a breeze blowing.As we were driving out into the country,we saw our English teacher riding in a crowded bus.第43页/共60页 Kate is a new student.She comes from a northern pr

34、ovince.She speaks a dialect.We find it hard to understand her dialect.Kate,a new student from a northern province,speaks a dialect which we find it hard to understand.用一句话表达第44页/共60页不是人人都能学好英语，小学生同时学汉语和英语反而会影响汉语学习。第一步：拆分成几个简单句第一步：拆分成几个简单句不是人人都能学好英语。不是人人都能学好英语。小学生同时学汉语和英语。小学生同时学汉语和英语。这会影响汉语学习。这会影响汉语学

35、习。第二步：分别翻译这几个简单句第二步：分别翻译这几个简单句 Not everyone is good at learning English.This will affect their Chinese study.Children from primary school learn English and Chinese at the same time.第45页/共60页 Not everyone is good at learning English.Children from primary school start to learn English and Chinese at t

36、he same time.This will affect their Chinese study.第三步：合并句子第三步：合并句子 That children from primary school start to learn English and Chinese at the same time will affect their Chinese study because not everyone is good at learning English.第46页/共60页 Not everyone is good at learning English.Children from p

37、rimary school start to learn English and Chinese at the same time.This will affect their Chinese study.第三步：合并句子第三步：合并句子 If children from primary school start to learn English and Chinese at the same time,this will affect their Chinese study方法方法2 2：because not everyone is good at learning English.第47

38、页/共60页你来试试现象现象 学生作文中出现很多错别字学生作文中出现很多错别字原因原因1.上网聊天时经常使用网络语言。上网聊天时经常使用网络语言。2.每天有很多作业做，没有记住生字。每天有很多作业做，没有记住生字。参考词汇：参考词汇：错别字错别字:wrongly-written characters网络语言：网络语言：web language要求：1.1.用两句话表达表格内容 2.2.两句话要有连贯性第48页/共60页第一句（两个信息点）：第一句（两个信息点）：1.1.学生作文中出现很多错别字学生作文中出现很多错别字 2.2.（他们）上网聊天时经常使用网络语言。（他们）上网聊天时经常使用网络语

39、言。There are many wrongly-written characters in students compositions.The reason why there are many wrongly-written characters in students compositions is that they often use web languages when chatting on line.合并句子：合并句子：They often use web languages when chatting on line.第49页/共60页1.They have so much

40、homework to do every day that they fail to memorize the new characters.第二句第二句:1.1.每天有很多作业做每天有很多作业做 2.2.没有记住生字。没有记住生字。They have much homework to do every day.2.With so much homework to do every day,they fail to memorize the new characters.3.Because they have so much homework to do,they fail to memori

41、ze the new characters.合并句子：合并句子：They fail to memorize the new characters.第50页/共60页 连接两句话：The reason why there are many wrongly-written characters in students compositions is that they often use web languages when chatting on line.Moreover,they have so much homework to do every day that they fail to

42、memorize the new characters.第51页/共60页昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。我们昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。我们讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。我的讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。我的一些同学说应该。他们认为帮助他人是我一些同学说应该。他们认为帮助他人是我们中华民族的传统美德。一些人认为帮助们中华民族的传统美德。一些人认为帮助他人不是个好主意。现在的人忘恩负义。他人不是个好主意。现在的人忘恩负义。我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。依我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。依我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需要我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需要帮助的人。人人能互相关

43、心。这个世界会帮助的人。人人能互相关心。这个世界会更美好。更美好。翻译合并翻译合并 将下列句子译成英文，然后运用本将下列句子译成英文，然后运用本课件的方法，并使用适当的关联词将它们组课件的方法，并使用适当的关联词将它们组成一篇五句话的短文。成一篇五句话的短文。第52页/共60页昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。Yesterday we had a discussion in our class.我们讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。We discussed whether we should help those in trouble.我的一些同学说应该。Some of my classmates

44、 said we should.第53页/共60页他们认为帮助他人是我们中华民族的传统美德。They think helping others is a good traditional virtue of us Chinese people.一些人认为帮助他人不是个好主意。Others didnt think it is a good idea to help other people.现在的人忘恩负义。People nowadays are ungrateful.第54页/共60页我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。We may be hurt by those who we are try

45、ing to help.依我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需要帮助的人。In my view,we should give a hand to the people in need of help.人人能互相关心。Everyone can care for each other.这个世界会更美好。The world will become more beautiful.第55页/共60页Yesterday we had a discussion on/about whether we should help those in trouble in our class.Some of my cl

46、assmates said we should because they think helping others is a good traditional virtue of us Chinese people while others didnt think it is a good idea to help other people as people nowadays are ungrateful.They said that we may be hurt by those who we are trying to help.In my view,we should give a h

47、and to the people in need of help.If everyone can care for each other,the world will become more beautiful.第56页/共60页1.一个乞丐在路边讨钱(ask for money)。李先生匆忙赶路上班，没有注意到那个乞丐。2.乞丐很生气，伸出(stick out)拐杖，差点把李先生绊倒了(trip over)。3.李先生意识到他是个残疾人，便在口袋里找钱给他。4.李先生拿出了一张百元钞票(a 100-yuan note)。突然一阵风把钞票吹到了空中。5.乞丐迅速跳起来去追那张钞票。李先生站在

48、那里，惊得合不拢嘴。实战演练实战演练实战演练实战演练：以下是你根据图画内容和题目要求，经过以下是你根据图画内容和题目要求，经过观察、整理排列成的五个信息块，请分别用一个句子观察、整理排列成的五个信息块，请分别用一个句子表达出来，并组成一篇连贯性的短文。表达出来，并组成一篇连贯性的短文。A beggar第57页/共60页 Exchange and discuss your partners composition,then give each other a score according to the following criteria.Criteria（标准）（标准）Mark Conten

49、t（内容）（内容）（是否用（是否用5 5句话表达了全文要点）句话表达了全文要点）0 5 分分 Language（语言）（语言）（句子结构及用词是否得当）（句子结构及用词是否得当）0 8 分分 Coherence（连贯）（连贯）（是否用了恰当的词语来衔接句子）（是否用了恰当的词语来衔接句子）0 2 分分Pair work第58页/共60页 A beggar One day,when Mr.Li hurried on his way to work,a beggar on the roadside was asking for money,but Mr.Li paid no attention o

50、n him.As a result,the beggar got angry and stuck out his walking stick,which almost tripped Mr.Li over.Realizing the beggar was a disabled person,Mr.Li began to search for some money in his pocket to give him.He took out a 100-yuan note,which was suddenly blown into the air by the wind.Seeing this,t