2023年[《孔雀东南飞》原文]《孔雀东南飞》英语剧本搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事.docx

《2023年[《孔雀东南飞》原文]《孔雀东南飞》英语剧本搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事.docx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《2023年[《孔雀东南飞》原文]《孔雀东南飞》英语剧本搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事.docx（9页珍藏版）》请在得力文库 - 分享文档赚钱的网站上搜索。

1、2023年孔雀东南飞原文孔雀东南飞英语剧本，搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事。wanderseveryfivemiles 焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)刘兰芝lunch(lforshort) 焦母johnnysmother(jmforshort)刘母lunchsmother(lmforshort) 太守之子mayorsson(msforshort)强盗burglars(abandc) prologue本文转自：小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影 (j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪) j:everybodysaysthatimhenpecked,butinfact,imasstro

2、ngasatiger,(小声)whilemy wifeiswusong. (指着上台处的门大声道)imnotafraidofyou! (内砸出一脸盆,接住当成盾牌护着头)then,imafraidofwhom? mywifelunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.sheisbraverthanme, smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.allthisidonotcare.ionlywanthertobetender thanme.butsheisnot!havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivin

3、ginthehell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j) mygod!whocanhelpme?(下) act1 (序幕结束时,jm作窃听状) jm(拄拐棍上):ican! (对门内)lunch!lunch!whereareyou? l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):imhere!whatsupmum? jm:ivetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”. l:ok.mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-la

4、w,whatsup? jm:sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy l:but jm:neverinterruptme! l:neverinterruptme!sinceimarriedyourson,thatterriblejohnny,ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing.ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken and jm:butallthoseyou

5、havedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson! l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,youwantagrandson,dontyou?(开始解围裙)goandaskyour son.imleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下) act2 (lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上) l:mum,imback! lm:youareback?why?whathappened? l:iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmotherin-law. lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!ihavealreadyto

6、ldyou!whenyouinsistedon marryingthatterriblejohnny,itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten tome.lookatyourself l:but,mum lm:neverinterruptme! l:mum,imnotinterruptingyou.ijustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightok?and illmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto. lm(大喜):nicegirl!justnow,imetthemayorssonint

7、hemarket.hesaid:“ifyoudaughter haventbeenmarried,ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”nowyouarefreeagain,illgo andtellhim.(下) l(惊愕):what?themayorsson?themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)whatasillythingihavedone!(下) act3本文转自：小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影 (j睡眼惺忪上) j(边走边道):lunch!lunch!wherearemysocks? (走了几步,在地

8、上捡起袜子)heretheyare!(闻一下) er!howsmelly!theyarestilldirty! (突然想起)lunchhasgone!ihavetowashthemmyself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,imsohungry!buttheresnobreakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)thisiswhatlunchalwayswears!imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!now shehasgone.ihavetocookformymotherandmyself. jm(上):wheresmybreakfast?w

9、hereslunch?hasntshegotupyet? j:mum,cantyouremember?lunchhasgone! jm(沉吟片刻):well,totellyouthetruthjohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.lunchisanice girl,goandtakeherback! j(立正敬礼):yesmadam! act4 (j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) a:heyyou!stopandlistentous! theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) b:andiplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块

10、石头上) c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet-(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚) abc:giveusallyourmoney! j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出角硬币):is1maoenough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) a:whatbadluck!thisguyisbroken! b:ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight! c:iheardthatthemayorssonisgoingtomarrymissliulanzhinextmonth.wecangoand robthewedding

11、! ab:goodidea! j(惊讶):what?what?lunchisgoingtogetmarried?itsimpossible! abc:why?aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple! j:butlunchismywife!wehaventgotdivorcedyet! (突然有了主意)ivegotanidea!youaregoingtorobthewedding,dontyou?illgo withyou.youtakethemoneyanditakethebride. b:haveyougotanyexperience? j:no.but

12、ivegotthis!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书，) act5本文转自：小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影 (转眼已到了婚礼之期ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (j和三强盗跃至台中) abcj:heyyou!stopandlistentous! a:theroadisbuiltbyme! b:andiplantedonetree. c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet- j:giveusallyourmoney! (l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头) l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后) (ms大怒，挥拳向j打来j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒) j(火冒三丈):howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向ms冲去） (j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms) (j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) j(扶起l，关切地问):honey,howareyou? l(哭状):ihurtalot! j:dontcrybaby.illgoandfetchthemedicine. (下) l(起身去追):waitforme! (跑下) (音乐起 canyoucelebrate) the end