【英文读物】The Rivet in Grandfather's Neck A Comedy of Limitations.docx

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1、【英文读物】The Rivet in Grandfathers Neck A Comedy of LimitationsPART ONE - PROPINQUITY A singer, eh? Well, well! but when he sings Take jealous heed lest idiosyncrasies Entinge and taint too deep his melodies; See that his lute has no discordant strings To harrow us; and let his vaporings Be all of virt

2、ue and its victories, And of mans best and noblest qualities, And scenery, and flowers, and similar things. Thus bid our paymasters whose mutterings Some few deride, and blithely link their rhymes At random; and, as ever, on frail wings Of wine-stained paper scribbled with such rhymes Men mount to h

3、eaven, and loud laughter springs From hells midpit, whose fuel is such rhymes.PAUL VERVILLE. Nascitur. I At a very remote period, when editorials were mostly devoted to discussion as to whether the Democratic Convention (shortly to be held in Chicago) would or would not declare in favor of bi-metall

4、ism; when golf was a novel form of recreation in America, and people disputed how to pronounce its name, and pedestrians still turned to stare after an automobile; when, according to the fashion notes, the godet skirts and huge sleeves of the present modes were already doomed to extinction; when the

5、 baseball season had just begun, and some of our people were discussing the national game, and others the spectacular burning of the old Pennsylvania Railway depot at Thirty-third and Market Street in Philadelphia, and yet others the significance of General Fitzhugh Lees recent appointment as consul

6、-general to Habana:at this remote time, Lichfield talked of nothing except the Pendomer divorce case. And Colonel Rudolph Musgrave had very narrowly escaped being named as the co-respondent. This much, at least, all Lichfield knew when George Pendomerevincing unsuspected funds of generositypermitted

7、 his wife to secure a divorce on the euphemistic grounds of desertion. John Charteris, acting as Rudolph Musgraves friend, had patched up this arrangement; and the colonel and Mrs. Pendomer, so rumor ran, were to be married very quietly after a decent interval. Remained only to deliberate whether th

8、is sop to the conventions should be accepted as sufficient. At least, as Mrs. Ashmeade sagely observed, we can combine vituperation with common-sense, and remember it is not the first time a Musgrave has figured in an entanglement of the sort. A lecherous race! proverbial flutterers of petticoats! H

9、is surname convicts the man unheard and almost excuses him. All of us feel that. And, moreover, it is not as if the idiots had committed any unpardonable sin, for they have kept out of the newspapers. Her friend seemed dubious, and hazarded something concerning the merest sense of decency. In the na

10、me of the Prophet, figs! PeopleI mean the people who count in Lichfieldare charitable enough to ignore almost any crime which is just a matter of common knowledge. In fact, they are mildly grateful. It gives them something to talk about. But when detraction is printed in the morning paper you cant o

11、verlook it without incurring the suspicion of being illiterate and virtueless. Thats Lichfield. But, Polly Sophist, dont I know my Lichfield? I know it almost as well as I know Rudolph Musgrave. And so I prophesy that he will not marry Clarice Pendomer, because he is inevitably tired of her by this.

12、 He will marry money, just as all the Musgraves do. Moreover, I prophesy that we will gabble about this mess until we find a newer target for our stone throwing, and be just as friendly with the participants to their faces as we ever were. So dont let me hear any idiotic talk about whether or no I a

13、m going to receive her Well, after all, she was born a Bellingham. We must remember that. Wasnt I saying I knew my Lichfield? Mrs. Ashmeade placidly observed. * * * * * And time, indeed, attested her to be right in every particular. Yet it must be recorded that at this critical juncture chance rathe

14、r remarkably favored Colonel Musgrave and Mrs. Pendomer, by giving Lichfield something of greater interest to talk about; since now, just in the nick of occasion, occurred the notorious Scott Musgrave murder. Scott Musgravea fourth cousin once removed of the colonels, to be quite accuratehad in the

15、preceding year seduced the daughter of a village doctor, a negligible half-strainer up country at Warren; and her two brothers, being irritated, picked this particular season to waylay him in the street, as he reeled homeward one night from the Commodores Club, and forthwith to abolish Scott Musgrav

16、e after the primitive methods of their lower station in society. These details, indeed, were never officially made public, since a discreet police force found no clues; for Fred Musgrave (of Kings Garden), as befitted the dead mans well-to-do brother, had been at no little pains to insure constabula

17、ry shortsightedness, in preference to having the nature of Scott Musgraves recreations unsympathetically aired. Fred Musgrave thereby afforded Lichfield a delectable opportunity (conversationally and abetted by innumerable they do says) to accredit the murder, turn by turn, to every able-bodied pers

18、on residing within stones throw of its commission. So that few had time, now, to talk of Rudolph Musgrave and Clarice Pendomer; for it was not in Lichfieldian human nature to discuss a mere domestic imbroglio when here, also in the Musgrave family, was a picturesque and gory assassination to lay ton

19、gue to. So Colonel Musgrave was duly reëlected that spring to the librarianshipof the Lichfield Historical Association, and the name of Mrs. GeorgePendomer was not stricken from the list of patronesses of the LichfieldGerman Club, but was merely altered to Mrs. Clarice Pendomer. * * * * * At th

20、e bottom of his heart Colonel Musgrave was a trifle irritated that his self-sacrifice should be thus unrewarded by martyrdom. Circumstances had enabled him to assume, and he had gladly accepted, the blame for John Charteriss iniquity, rather than let Anne Charteris know the truth about her husband a

21、nd Clarice Pendomer. The truth would have killed Anne, the colonel believed; and besides, the colonel had enjoyed the performance of a picturesque action. And having acted as a hero in permitting himself to be pilloried as a libertine, it was preferable of course not to have incurred ostracism there

22、by. His common-sense conceded this; and yet, to Colonel Musgrave, it could not but be evident that Destiny was hardly rising to the possibilities of the situation.chapter 2 Concerning Colonel Musgrave one finds the ensuing account in a publication of the period devoted to biographies of more or less

23、 prominent Americans. It is reproduced unchanged, because these memoirs werein the old dayscompiled by the person whom they commemorated. The custom was a worthy one, since the value of an autobiography is determined by the nature of its superfluities and falsehoods. MUSGRAVE, RUDOLPH VARTREY, edito

24、r; b. Lichfield, Sill., Mar. 14, 1856; s. William Sebastian and Martha (Allardyce) M; g. s. Theodorick Q.M., gov. of Sill. 1805-8, judge of the General Ct., 1808-11, judge Supreme Ct. of Appeals, 1811-50 and pres. Supreme Ct. of Appeals, 1841-50; grad. Kings Coll. and U. of Sill. Corr. sec. Lichfiel

25、d Hist. Soc., and editor Sill. Mag. of Biog. since 1890; dir. Traders Nat. Bank, Sill.; mem. Soc. of the Sons of Col. Govs., pres. Sill. Soc. of Protestant Martyrs, comdr. Sill. Mil. Order of Lost Battles, mem. exec. bd. Sill. Hist. Assn. for the Preservation of Ruins. Democrat, Episcopalian, unmarr

26、ied. Author: Colonial Lichfield, 1892; Right on the Scaffold, 1893; Secession and the South, 1894; Chart of the Descendants of Zenophon Perkins, 1894; Recollections of a Gracious Era, 1895; Notes as to the Vartreys of Westphalia, 1896. Has also written numerous pamphlets on hist., biog. and geneal.

27、subjects. Address: Lichfield, Sill. For Colonel Musgrave was by birth the lineal head of all the Musgraves of Matocton, which is in Lichfield, as degrees are counted there, equivalent to what being born a marquis would mean in England. Handsome and trim and affable, he defied chronology by looking t

28、en years younger than he was known to be. For at least a decade he had been invaluable to Lichfield matrons alike against the entertainment of an out-of-town girl, the management of a cotillion and the prevention of unpleasant pauses among incongruous dinner companies. In short, he was by all accoun

29、ts the social triumph of his generation; and his military title, won by four years of arduous service at receptions and parades while on the staff of a former Governor of the State, this seasoned bachelor carried off with plausibility and distinction. The story finds him Librarian and Corresponding

30、Secretary of the Lichfield Historical Association, which office he had held for some six years. The salary was small, and the colonel had inherited little; but his sister, Miss Agatha Musgrave, who lived with him, was a notable housekeeper. He increased his resources in a gentlemanly fashion by gene

31、alogical research, directed mostly toward the rehabilitation of ambiguous pedigrees; and for the rest, no other man could have fulfilled more gracefully the main duty of the Librarian, which was to exhibit the Associations collection of relics to hurried tourists doing Lichfield. His Library manner

32、was modeled upon that which an eighteenth century portrait would conceivably possess, should witchcraft set the canvas breathing.chapter 3 Also the story finds Colonel Musgrave in the company of his sister on a warm April day, whilst these two sat upon the porch of the Musgrave home in Lichfield, an

33、d Colonel Musgrave waited until it should be time to open the Library for the afternoon. And about them birds twittered cheerily, and the formal garden flourished as gardens thrive nowhere except in Lichfield, and overhead the sky was a turkis-blue, save for a few irrelevant clouds which dappled it

34、here and there like splashes of whipped cream. Yet, for all this, the colonel was ill-at-ease; and care was on his brow, and venom in his speech. And one thing, Colonel Musgrave concluded, with decision, I wish distinctly understood, and that is, if she insists on having young men loafing about hera

35、s, of course, she willshe will have to entertain them in the garden. I wont have them in the house, Agatha. You remember that Langham girl you had here last Easter? he added, disconsolately the one who positively littered up the house with young men, and sang idiotic jingles to them at all hours of

36、the night about the Bailey family and the correct way to spell chicken? She drove me to the verge of insanity, and I havent a doubt that this Patricia person will be quite as obstreperous. So, please mention it to her, Agathacasually, of coursethat, in Lichfield, when one is partial to either vocal

37、exercise or amorous daliance, the proper scene of action is the garden. I really cannot be annoyed by her. But, Rudolph, his sister protested, you forget she is engaged to the Earl of Pevensey. An engaged girl naturally wouldnt care about meeting any young men. Hm! said the colonel, drily. Ensued a

38、pause, during which the colonel lighted yet another cigarette. Then, I have frequently observed, he spoke, in absent wise, that all young women having that peculiarly vacuous expression about the eyesI believe there are misguided persons who describe such eyes as being dreamy,are invariably possesse

39、d of a fickle, unstable and coquettish temperament. Oh, no! You may depend upon it, Agatha, the fact that she contemplates purchasing the right to support a peculiarly disreputable member of the British peerage will not hinder her in the least from making advances to all the young men in the neighbo

40、rhood. Miss Musgrave was somewhat ruffled. She was a homely little woman with nothing of the ordinary Musgrave comeliness. Candor even compels the statement that in her pudgy swarthy face there was a droll suggestion of the pug-dog. I am sure, Miss Musgrave remonstrated, with placid dignity, that yo

41、u know nothing whatever about her, and that the reports about the earl have probably been greatly exaggerated, and that her picture shows her to be an unusually attractive girl. Though it is true, Miss Musgrave conceded after reflection, that there are any number of persons in the House of Lords tha

42、t I wouldnt in the least care to have in my own house, even with the front parlor all in linen as it unfortunately is. So awkward when you have company! And the Bible does bid us not to put our trust in princes, and, for my part, I never thought that photographs could be trusted, either. Scorn not t

43、he nobly born, Agatha, her brother admonished her, nor treat with lofty scorn the well-connected. The very best people are sometimes respectable. And yet, he pursued, with a slight hiatus of thought, I should not describe her as precisely an attractive-looking girl. She seems to have a lot of hair,i

44、f it is all her own, which it probably isnt,and her nose is apparently straight enough, and I gather she is not absolutely deformed anywhere; but that is all I can conscientiously say in her favor. She is artificial. Her hair, now! It has awell, you would not call it exactly a crinkle or precisely a

45、 wave, but rather somewhere between the two. Yes, I think I should describe it as a ripple. I fancy it must be rather like the reflection of a sunset ina duck-pond, say, with a faint wind ruffling the water. For I gather that her hair is of some light shade,induced, I havent a doubt, by the liberal

46、use of peroxides. And this ripple, too, Agatha, it stands to reason, must be the result of coercing nature, for I have never seen it in any other womans hair. Moreover, Colonel Musgrave continued, warming somewhat to his subject, there is a dimpleon the right side of her mouth, immediately above it,

47、which speaks of the most frivolous tendencies. I dare say it comes and goes when she talks,winks at you, so to speak, in a manner that must be simply idiotic. That foolish little cleft in her chin, too But at this point, his sister interrupted him. I hadnt a notion, said she, that you had even looke

48、d at the photograph. And you seem to have it quite by heart, Rudolph,and some people admire dimples, you know, and, at any rate, her mother had red hair, so Patricia isnt really responsible. I decided that it would be foolish to use the best mats to-night. We can save them for Sunday supper, because I am only going to have eggs and a little cold meat, and not make company of her. For no apparent reason, Rudolph Musgrave flushed. I inspected itquite casuallylast night. Please dont be absurd, Agatha! If we were threatened with any other