modern family 0101(26页).doc

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1、-modern family 0101-第 26 页Script:I. What do you know about Claires family? Claire: Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them?Phil: Yeah, just a sec.Claire: Kids!Phil: That was ohClaire: Ok!Phil: Kids, get down here!Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us, when were way upstairs, just text me.Cla

2、ire: Alright, thats not gonna happen, and, wow, youre not wearing that outfit.Haley: Whats wrong with it?Claire: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?Phil: Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute, sweetheart!Haley: Thanks!Claire: No, its way too short, people know youre

3、 a girlyou dont need to prove it to them.Alex: Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.Phil: I got it. Wheres the baby oil?Claire: Its on our bedside tip.I dont know, find it. Come on! I. was out of control growing up, there, you know, I said it. I just dont want my kids to make the same bad m

4、istakes I made. If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half naked. Ive done my job.Phil: Our job.Claire: Right.Ive done our job.II. What do you know about Glorias family?Gloria: Come on, Manny, kick it, kick it. Dont let him, kick it! Manny, go. NoNoNo He took it, Jay. Wheres the penalty!Jay

5、: Gloria, theres o and six, lets take it down a notch.( instruction to an individual to regulate his or her level of enthusiasm, relax, calm down)Gloria: Were, very different. Hes from the city. He has big business. I come from a small village, very poor, but very very beautiful. Its the number one

6、village in north-Columbia for all day whats the word?Jay: Murders.Gloria: Yes, the murders.Manny, stop him! You can do it!A boy: Damn it, Manny!A woman: Come on, coach! Youve gotta take that kid out!Gloria: You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!?Jay: Honey, honey.Gloria: Why dont you worr

7、y about your son! Hed spend the first half with his hands in his pants!Josh: I wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks. Im Josh, Brians dad.Gloria: Hi, Im Gloria Pritchett, Mannys mother.Josh: Oh, this must be your dad.Jay: Her dad?Josh: Yeah?Jay: Uh, no, no, thats funny. Actually no, Im her

8、husband! Dont be fooled by the.Give me a second here.III. What do you know about Mitchell and Cameron?Mitchell: Whos that little girl? Whos that?Passenger: Oh, shes adorable!Mitchell: Oh, thank you!Passenger: Hi, precious.Passenger: Hi, hi.Mitchell: Weve just adopted her from Vietnam. And were bring

9、ing her home for the first time.Passenger: Shes an angel. You and your wife must be thrilled!Cameron: Sorry, sorry, sorry, daddy needed snacks. Hi. So, what are we talking about?Mitchell: We have been together for. five years now? And weve decided we really wanted to have a baby. So, we initially as

10、ked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate.Cameron: Then we figured, theyre already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant? No, thank you.Mitchell: You saw that right? Everybodys been fond of Lily, and then you walk on, and suddenly its all sky on, oh, Id buy a motorized tie rack. A

11、nd you know, Im gonna give a speech.Cameron: You are not giving a speech . Youre gonna be stuck with this people for the next five hours!Mitchell: Youre right, its okay, Im sorry.Passenger: Honey, look at that baby with those cream puffs.Mitchell: Okay, excuse me. But this baby would be growing up i

12、n a crowded orphanage if it wasnt for us cream puffs .and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, love knows no race, creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant few.Cameron: Mitchell?Mitchell: What?Cameron: Shes got the cream puffs. Mitchell: OhCameron: We would like to

13、pay for everyones headsets.IV. A decision to punish LukePhil: Buddy, why do you keep getting stuck like this?Luke: I can get out this time.Alex: Im just gonna say it. he needs to be checked by a specialist.Phil: There! Be free, Excalibur(亚瑟王的神剑)!Haley: Im having a friend over today.Claire: Who?Haley

14、: You dont know him.Claire: Him? Him?Luke: Oh, a boy! You gonna kiss him?Haley: Shut up.Phil: Easy, easy!Luke: Shut up!Alex: You shut up!Claire: Luke, Alex, why dont you take it outside, okay?Alex: And do what?Phil: Fighting in the sun, it would be a nice change. Im kidding!Claire: Whos the boy?Hale

15、y: His name is Dylan .You know, I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.Claire: Sweetie, hang on a second, youre fifteen, its the first time youve had a boy over. I mean, Im bound to be （certainly or likely to happen） a little surprised, but.h

16、ow can I embarrass you!Phil: And here I go to charge the camcorder. Im kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to?Im a cool dad. Thats my thing. I surf the web, I text, LOL Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face. You know, I know all the dances in High School Musical, so.Alex: MOM! DAD!Clai

17、re: What happened?Alex: Luke just shot me!Luke: I didnt mean to!Claire: Are you okay?Alex: No, the little bitch shot me!Claire: Language!Luke: Theyre only plastic bbs! It was an accident!Claire: What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this!Phil: Buddy. Uncool.Claire: Thats

18、it? No, the agreement was that, if he shoots someone .you shoot him.Phil: We were serious about that?Claire: Yes, we were and now you have to follow through.Luke: Im so sorry!Claire: Liar. Go!Phil: Hes got a birthday party.Alex: Whats more important here, dad?Claire: You can shoot him afterwards, he

19、ll be home at two.Phil: I cant shoot him at two, Im showing a house at two.Alex: What about three?Claire: No, hes at a soccer game at three, and then.Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five. 4:15, you can shoot him at 4:15.Phil: Yeah, I guess that works for me.Claire: Shoot Luke.Phil: Sorry

20、 dude, its on the calendar.Luke: Oh, come on!V. Mannys gonna express his loveManny: Im quitting soccer, it is a game for children.Gloria: No, youre not quitting. You wouldve stopped that goal if you werent staring at that little girl.Manny: She is not a girl, she is a woman.Jay: You know Gloria, tha

21、t blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like that?Gloria: If somebody has said something about my family, Im going to.Jay: Im just .saying you could take it down here a little bit. Thats all.Gloria: Well yeah, but thats because you live down here, but I live up here!Jay: You dont

22、have to be so emotional all the time, thats all Im saying. Manny, youre with me on this, right?Manny: Im gonna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.Jay: Oh, for Gods sake.Gloria: Manny, shes 16.Manny: Oh, its okay for you to take an old lover?Jay: Hey, watch it!Manny: I want to go to the mall where she wo

23、rks. But first we need to get my white shirt the silk one.Gloria: Okay, if thats what you really want to do.Jay: Seriously not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16 year old, youre gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white underpan

24、ts!Manny: Stop the car!Gloria: Wherere you going? You see, you hurt his feelings.Jay: Well if it toughens him up a little bit, then .Oh, jeez, hes picking flowers!Gloria: Manny is very passionate, just like his father. My first husband is very handsome but, too crazy. It seemed like all what we did

25、was, fight and make love, fight and make love, fight and make love. One time, Im not kidding you, we fell out of the window together.Jay: Which one were you doing? Im hearing this for the first time!VI. Mitchell and Camerons argumentMitchell: Doesnt this worry you? She barely slept in the plane and

26、shes still wide awake.Cameron: Oh, stop worrying!Mitchell: That orphanage, it was all woman. Maybe she cannot fall asleep unless she feels a womans shape.Cameron: I guess thats possible.Mitchell: So, here.Cameron: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Yes, Ive gained a few extra pounds while we we

27、re expecting the baby, which has been very difficult. But, apparently your body does a nesting, very maternal primal thing, where it retains nutrition, some sort of molecular physiology thing. But thats science, you cant fight it. SoMitchell: Im not saying anything.Cameron: Youre saying everything.

28、Count to three.Mitchell: One, two, three. Okay. Oh, Cam.Cameron: My God, do you love it?Mitchell: Yes, I.What the hell is that?Cameron: I had Andre do it when we were gone.Mitchell: Is that us? With wings?Cameron: Were floating above her, always there to protect her.Mitchell: Well, thats reassuring,

29、 right Lily? Yeah, we tore you away from everything you know, but dont worry, things are normal here. Your fathers are floating fairies! Can you call Andre? Have him paint something a little less gay? We need to stop having friends with names like Andre.Cameron: Redheaded dad, is angry daddy.Mitchel

30、l: No Im not.Cameron: Yes, you are. Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.Mitchell: Okay, thats another one, Pepper!Cameron: Okay, whats up?Mitchell: I .Alright, look, I never told my family we were adopting a baby.Cameron: I know.Mitchell: You do?Cameron: Yeah, and I dont blam

31、e you, I know your family. You tell them, they say something judgmentally.Mitchell: Exactly!Cameron: You get mad.Mitchell: I know, and its supposed to be nothing but joyful suddenly turns into this huge fight.Cameron: Who wants a big emotional scene like that?Mitchell: Thank you, thank you, Im so re

32、lieved you understand.Cameron: I invited them over for dinner tonight.Mitchell: What?Cameron: I had to! This would have gone on forever. Youre an avoider.Mitchell: No, Cam, Im calling them now, Im cancelling.Cameron: No, youre not! Youre telling your family youve adopted a baby, tonight. And you do

33、have avoiding issues! Even Longinus said so.Mitchell: Oh, youre really not hearing these names.VII. Haleys taken a boy home for the 1st timeHaley: Dont answer it, Ill get it! Claire: Hey, you must be Dylan.Dylan: Hey, Dylan, yeah.Claire: Im Haleys mother.Haley: Hey, come on, lets go.Claire: Ok.Hang

34、on one second. Dylan, youre still in High School?Dylan: Yeah, Im a senior.Claire: OK, cool. Phil, sweetie, honey. He is Dylan and he is a Senior. You, scare him.Phil: Let me meet this player. Phil Dunphy, Yo! Its like that, you just stare down on him and let the eyes do the work. You know your mouth

35、 might be saying Hey, we cool! But youre eyes are like No, we not! Nice to meet you! No, its not! So all good? No, so it isnt.Phil: Yo.Dylan: Yo.Okay, Ive seen two guys.Phil: Wait, wait. You two . two keep it real? You know what it means, son?Dylan: Not really.Haley: Please stop.Phil: Thats cool! Oh

36、, God, Thats my back! Claire: Sweetheart.Phil: Oh, oh, I slipped in the baby oil. Oh, where are you from originally? I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation!Claire: I dont know about this, actually, shall I call a doctor?Phil: No, no, no. You have very strong arms.Dylan: Thanks.Phi

37、l: Okay, nice, nice soft landing. Okay, I am on my side, so flip me right back and were good. Well be good. Just need to get flipped right on my back, we should be fine, so.VIII. What happens at the mallManny: Feldman.Gloria: What is that?Manny: A poem Ive written for Brenda Feldman.Jay: Of course t

38、hat is.Manny: I put my thoughts into words, and now my words into action!Jay: Hey, I give you 50 bucks not to do this.Manny: Im eleven years old, what am I gonna do with money?Jay: What are you gonna do with a sixteen year old?Gloria: Its like a bullfight!Jay: Have you seen a bullfight? I cant watch

39、 this.Gloria: Youre in such a bad mood. And I know why, its because that man thought you were my father.Jay: No.Gloria: Yes. Jay: No.Gloria: Yes. When you say no like that, its always yes. Come on, were in the mall, lets get you like some younger clothes. Theres a store there that I know.Jay: I dont

40、 need any younger clothes! And I dont care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.Gloria: Good, you shouldnt. You should only care what I think. I love you, and I dont care how old you are. So stop being a gloomy goose, and stop being so hard on Manny.Jay: The only reason Im har

41、d on Manny.is just because I dont wanna see him make a fool of himself. And I can smell that hair glue of his from here!Gloria: Look, I dont know whats gonna happen to him over there .but youre his family now. And that means only one thing. Youll be there winning his back, not to spit in his face!Ja

42、y: What?Gloria: Something my mom always says, its gorgeous in Spanish. Look, hes there.Manny: She has a boyfriend. Gloria: Oh, Im sorry, mi amore. Manny: I gave her my heart. She gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff. That was pretty stupid, wasnt it?Gloria: No mi amore, it was brave, right

43、 Jay? Brave.Jay: I. well. youll know better next time. Come on! Lets get a pretzel.Staff: Oh, excuse me, sir? We asked all mall-walkers to stay to the right.IX. How Claire deals with Haley and Luke has got his punishmentHaley: Alex, get out! MOM!Claire: Alex, leave your sister alone!Alex: I was just

44、 getting my book, gosh!Claire: I know sweetie, but you need to respect her privacy. What are they doing up there?Alex: Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movie.Claire: Okay. Okay. Im making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frosting?Alex: Sure. So, you know if Haley got pregnant, wou

45、ld you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the babys yours?Claire: What?Alex: The senior at school was out sick for like four months, but Jenna Resnick swore she has seen her breastfeeding in a coinage carwash.Phil: Buddy, what are you wearing?Luke: Nothing.Phil: No jac

46、ket, one hat. How many pairs of underwear do you have on?Luke: One. Six.Alex: First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother whos really my nephew.Claire: Haley is not getting pregnant!Alex: Im just saying if.Claire: I know, and

47、 I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but its not gonna work this time. You know why? Cause your sister is a good girl. I know, I was just like her when I was.Phil: I want you to know, Im not enjoying this. But this is an important lesson that youre leaning, so. So all good, keep it.Luke: Youre too close, its gonna hurt.Phil: Its supposed to hurt!Luke: And why are